One May Tolerate A World Of Demons For The Sake Of An Angel
by charstiel
Summary: Jordan Winchester is someone you would consider to have a weird life, travelling all over, hunting all things Supernatural with her brothers. Until an angel came to her in a dream. Castiel is everything she's not, good and innocent to the core. And she can't help but fall for him, but Cas keeps zapping in and out of her life, can something so good as Castiel make her life worse?
1. The Inbetween

_I'm just doing a quick run down of my own character Jordan-_

_Name- Jordan Mary Winchester_

_Height- 5"4_

_Weight- 120 lbs_

_Descriptions- short, pretty, slender, long waist length blonde hair and green eyes (spitting image of Mary)_

_Tattoos- anti-possesion (left hip) rose "in memory of John and Mary Winchester" (right shoulder blade) sinking ship (looks like this media/BMp_ left thigh)_

_Scaring- three slashes (right leg) from a hell hound_

_Relations- Sam and Dean Winchester (brothers) Bobby Singer (father figure) and CAASSTTIEELLL (love interest :3)_

**A/N- Hey guys so this is my first crack at writing a Supernatural fanfic, so be nice please? and review! Love to know what you think :') I don't own any of the charaters or the show supernatural blah blah etc. I only own my characters (Jordan) Okay thanking you -Char xo**

I was woken by a start by a pickle hitting me on the end of the nose.

''Oh look she's awake'' my big brother Dean smirked, putting the top of his burger back on ''Morning sleeping beauty''

''I hate you'' I mumbled, pulling my hood over my eyes and attempting to force myself back to sleep, with no such luck.

''Come on Jordan, we're at the gas station'' Sam added slightly more kindly. I groaned inwardly, my neck was stiff from days trying to sleep in the back seat of the Impala, my eyes felt like sand paper and my head was pounding. Caffine. I needed caffine. I sat up slowly, Sam had shifted into the driver's seat and Dean was filling up on gas. I groaned and rested my head on Sam's shoulder.

''Tired?'' he chuckled kindly, I just nodded solemnly.

''I'm getting coffee, you want anything?'' he just shook his head, I shuffled to the door of the car and wandered across the parking lot to the scabby gas station store. I headed slowly into the bathrooms first. After down the squat-and-pee, I looked at my reflection, huge dark circles rimmed under my eyes, some from lack of sleep and some from smudged make up I never bothered to clean off. I guess it was the hunter package deal. I'd only been back on hunting since Jess died a little under a year ago. I attempted to scrub a little of it off. I wandered back into the store, pushing my hands inside my beaten up denim shorts, feeling my dad's knife pressed into my leg in my 15 hole doc martians.

After getting coffee and finding pie at the back of the store and getting some for Dean, headed back out to my brothers. Sam was sitting on the hood of the car, nose in a newspaper, probably looking for a job. Dean was leaning against the driver's door, looking through his many fake ID's. I held up the pie packet to him and his eyes lit up like a 5-year-old. I downed my coffee in minimal time, it burned the back of my throat in a good way.

''So have we got a case?''

**2 years later**

"I'm sorry Dean. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy'' Ruby said, for the short span I've not really liked her I heard a note of sympathy in her voice.

''This can't be it'' I whispered, Dean's hand gripped on my shoulder. I felt hot tears spill down my cheeks. I almost jumped from my skin at loud howl and the growling of a dog.

''Hellhound'' Dean said with no emotion.

''Where?'' Sam managed

''There'' I turned to look where Dean's eyes were glued but saw nothing. A bark cracked through the room, I felt Deans warm hand enclose around mine, he pulled me sharply into the next room, Sam and Ruby quick behind us. We slammed the doors shut with an ear-splitting noise, Sam and Dean frantically pouring dust on the doors and windows. Ruby and I plastered against the doors. The pounding suddenly stopped and we stood in silence.

''Give me the knife'' Ruby said, breaking the silence ''Maybe I can fight it off''

''What?'' I managed, the demon knife pressed into my ankle inside my shoe.

''Come on!'' Ruby said ''The dust won't last forever''

I paused for a second, looking at her. It's the first note of kindness she's ever shown to anyone but Sam. I leaned over and pulled the knife from my shoe and went to hand it to Ruby.

''Wait'' Dean said sharply, grabbing my elbow.

''You wanna die?'' Ruby said, almost flustered.

''Jordan that's not Ruby'' Dean said, aiming a gun at Ruby's head. She smirks and turns back to me, I suddenly feel a lurch somewhere below my ribs and I was thrown into the wall. The demon blade falling from my hand. I try to move but I don't seem to have control of my muscles. She threw Sam into the wall next to me. She then launched Dean into a table, pinning him without even moving. He grunted and looked up at her.

''How long you been in her?''

Ruby's face practically twists into a child like smile and it suddenly hits me, Lilith is wearing her.

''Not long'' she smirks, looking down at Ruby's body ''but I like it, it's all grown up and pretty''

''And where's Ruby?'' Sam grunted

''She was bad, so I sent her far, far away'' Lilith said, her eyes turning back from white as she tilts her head, her neck crunching as she did so.

''I should have seen it sooner'' Dean said, sounding thoroughly disgusted ''but all of you look-alike to me''

Lilith doesn't even look at him but she snaps her head towards Sam. She takes a couple small steps towards him.

''Hello Sam, I've wanted to meet you for a very long time'' She said, slamming her hand into his chin, forcing him to look at her. She then does something I really do not expect and she forces her lips to his, there's a sickening sizzling noise.

''Get off him'' I spit but she doesn't even look at me. Sam squirms under her grip.

''Right, so you have me'' Sam growled ''Let my brother go'' He stares her down, his eyes flashing in a way I rarely see.

''Silly goose'' Lilith laughs like a child ''You wanna bargain, you must have something I want. You don't.''

''So this is the big plan huh?'' Dean says ''Drag me to hell, kill my brother and sister. Then what? Become queen bitch?''

''I don't answer to puppy chow''

Dean is in clear pain on the table, trying to break her hold. I'm seething against the wall, attempting to break her grip and I feel like I'm breaking all my bones at once. Lilith just smiles to herself before wandering to the door, placing her hand on the handle. She smiles sickeningly at us all before her eyes settles on Dean.

''Sic 'em boy'' she exclaims, throwing open the door and breaking the line of dust. Both Sam and I snap our heads to Dean, who for the first time I've seen, looks completely terrified. Dean is suddenly pulled on to the floor by his leg, like a puppet on a string. Dean's scream fills the room as blood spurts from parts of his body. Sam and I watched, completely helpless as our brother was ripped to shreds.

''No!'' I begged completely uselessly ''Stop!'' Lilith looks at me ruthlessly then turns her head back to Dean. A small smile on her face. Sam and I continue to writhe and beg to no use.

Dean has stopped screaming but blood is pouring from his chest, he's not dead get. His breaths are coming out short and ragged.

''No'' I whispered

''Yes'' Lilith smirked

She held out her hand and a blindingly white light erupts from it. It builds up and I close my eyes, falling from the wall. She looks thoroughly confused as Sam stands up and walks towards Lilith.

''Back'' she spits

''I don't think so'' he says, he pulls his hand back. Lilith suddenly pulls out of Ruby's body and I look up at Sam, then at Dean. He isn't moving.

He's dead.

I claw my way across the floor to him, I think I've broken most of my ribs and I had landed on my ankle with a crunch. I can feel his arm blood on my knees and I don't have the tears left to break down. I just pull my hands to my face and start screaming my lungs into them. I can hear Sam sobbing next to me, I push the balls of my hands into my hands, trying to pretend this is all just a horrific dream.

''Dean...'' Sam says hopelessly from next to me.


	2. Sons Of War

I looked around slowly, why was I in the forrest we had buried Dean in? How had I got here? Was I dreaming? I stood up slowly, the cross that marked where Dean was buried about 10 feet from me. The flowers I'd placed there 4 months before had vanished.

''Jordan Winchester?'' a gruff sounding voice said, I spun round and my eyes were met by a man standing before me. He donned a scruffy looking suit, squint tie and trench coat. His brown hair was messy as if he'd jut clawed his way through a bush, his blue eyes twinkling at me.

''Yes'' I say cautiously ''Who are you?''

The corner of his mouth twitches, as if he wants to smile but knows he shouldn't ''You'll find out soon''

I step back from him out of habit, my hand reaching towards my dad's knife that I kept strapped to my leg but, of course, it was gone.

''I really should not be here but...'' his voice trailed away, I cocked an eyebrow.

''Where am I?'' I said dumbly

''As far as I am aware you're with Bobby Signer'' he said

''I'm dreaming?'' his head inclined into a small nod ''Why are you in here?''

''I had to make sure you were safe''

''Why would you care?'' I said, shifting my weight from my feet uncomfortably

''You're important to me'' he said, I frowned though I could feel myself getting embarrassed ''you fell from our radar and I had to make sure you were safe''

''Our?''

''You'll find out soon, Jordan''

''How is it you know who I am?'' I asked

''I know a lot about you''

''Yes because that's not creepy'' I smiled sarcastically, I felt strangely comfortable with- who ever he was. He chuckled softly, his eyes never leaving mine.

''I must go, but we'll be seeing each other soon'' he said

''Wait, at least tell me your name'' I said quickly

''Castiel'' he said, almost smiling.

I suddenly woke with a start, I was where I last remembered. Bobby's couch, cold beans and coffee sitting on the table next to me. I sat up slowly, my head hammering, my eyes felt dry. I inhaled slowly, Castiel's image was stuck in my head. Had the dream been legitimate or just my imagination. A loud crash from the hall snapped me from my thoughts, I yawned, walking to see what the commotion was.

''Hey Bobby, you alr-'' I stopped when I saw the scene in front of me. Bobby turned when he saw me, his eyes were strangely wild like he'd just seen a ghost. Which he had as Dean was standing next to him, he looked at me and smiled sadly.

''Jordan'' he breathed. I started at him before in a split second grabbed the knife from my thigh, threw him into a wall, knife to his throat, my elbow stabbed into his ribs.

''What are you?'' I roared at him, something passed in his eyes for a second, disappointment that I didn't think he was real.

''Jordan'' Bobby said roughly, pulling me off Dean with great force ''It's him, I've checked, it's him!'' I stared at Dean, waning to have a melt down.

''Dean..?'' I said, on the verge of tears

''The one and only'' he smiled slowly, I grabbed him quickly, wrapping my arms around him. He was hugging so tightly I felt like all my ribs were breaking again. I started sobbing into his chest, he even smelled the same. He let me go and I brushed the tears, laughing at how much I was crying. He then grabbed Bobby, hugging in a manly, bone crushing way. When he let go Bobby flung holy water in his face and I tried not to laugh.

''Not a demon either you know'' he says, spitting out the water.

''Sorry, but it's good to see you boy'' Bobby said

''Yeah you too''

''But how did you bust out?'' I asked

''I don't know . I just, uh, I just woke up in a pine box''

''That don't make a lick of sense'' Bobby said, scratching his forehead.

''Yeah, you're preaching to the choir'' Dean muttered

''Dean'' I said seriously ''Your chest was ribbons, your insides were slop. And you've been buried four months. Even if you could slip out of hell and back into your meat suit -''

''I know, I should look like a Thriller video reject.'' Dean interjected, I snorted through my nose at his lame joke

''What do you remember?'' Bobby asked

''Not much. I remember I was a Hellhound's chew toy, and then... lights out. Then I come to six feet under, that was it. Dean said as Bobby sat down ''Sam's number's not working. He's, uh... he's not...''

''Oh he's alive'' Bobby said ''As far as we know'' I felt a pang of guilt in my chest, I'd been so torn up about Dean I'd had a massive argument with his before he left. He was dead set at bringing Dean back some how, all I wanted to do was mourn him. He'd yelled at me about how I didn't care about family, it got me pissed off and I said things I really shouldn't of.

''Good... Wait, what do you mean, as far as you know?"

''I haven't talked to him for months''

"You're kidding, you just let him go off by himself?" Dean said, talking to me now

''I was dead set on it'' I said pathetically

"Jordan, you should've been looking after him" he said exasperated

"I tried. These last months haven't been exactly easy, you know. For him or me. We had to bury you." I said, getting pissy with him. He held my gaze for a second then his face softened.

''Why did you bury me anyway?'' he said to Bobby

"I wanted you salted and burned. Usual drill. But..." Bobby sighed "Sam wouldn't have it."

"Well, I'm glad he won that one."

"He said you'd need a body when he got you back home somehow. That's about all he said."

"What do you mean?"

"He was quiet. Real quiet. And then he just took off. Wouldn't return our calls. Tried to find him, but he didn't want to be found."

"Dammit Sammy''

"What?" I pitched in

"Oh, he got me home okay. But whatever he did, it is bad mojo." Dean replied, shaking his head.

''What makes you so sure?'' I asked

"You should have seen the grave site. It was like a nuke went off. And then there was this... this force, this presence, I don't know, but it, it blew past me at a fill-up joint. And then this." he pulled up his shirt sleeve and my breath caught in the back of my throat, there was puckered skin all over his upper arm in the perfect shape of a hand print.

''What the hell?'' Bobby said, squinting at it

"It was like a demon just yanked me out. Or rode me out."

"But why?"

"To hold up their end of the bargain."

"You think Sam made a deal?'' I asked

"It's what i would have done"

I sat on the floor later, carving a wing shape into the floor boards with my knife, and I'm not even sure why I was doing it. Dean was on the phone, tracking down Sam.

"Yeah, hi, I have a cell phone account with you guys, and uh, I lost my phone. I was wondering if you could turn the GPS on for me" Dean said, he looked at me and mouthed 'name' I smirked and said-

"Wedge Antilles"

"Yeah. Name's Wedge Antilles." "Social is 2-4-7-4." "Thank you"

"How'd you know he'd use that name?" Bobby asked me

"You kiddin' me? What don't I know about that kid?" I smiled, remembering all the times I'd had to look after him while Dean and Dad were hunting. I even went to visit him in Stanford a couple times. We were always close, I felt like crying because we hadn't spoken in months. Dean was typing on the laptop, his eyes flickered over to the jack bottle I'd drank earlier.

"Hey, Jordan? What's the deal with the liquor store? What, are your parents out of town or something?"

"Like i said, the last few months haven't been easy...I said, he held my gaze for a moment, searching my eyes.

''Right" he said, looking to the screen "Sam's in Pontiac, Illinois."

"Right near where you were planted." Bobby said

"Right where I popped up. Hell of a coincidence, don't you think?"

We walked down the corridor of a dingy hotel to room 207, I knock, my hand shaking at seeing Sam again. The door swings open and we're met with a pretty girl with dark hair, in a tank and her underwear.

"So where is it?"she said expectantly

''Where's what?'' Dean said bemused

''The pizza?'' she said, raising her eye brow ''That takes 3 people to deliver?"

"I think we got the wrong room." Dean said but then Sam stepped into the room, his eyes fell on Dean and he visablely swallowed, his eyes flickered to me then back to Dean.

"Heya, Sammy." Dean smiled, walking into the room, the girl moving aside to let him is perfectly silent before launching himself at Dean, knife out.

''Who are you?!'' Sam yells, sounding hysterical. Bobby and I grab onto him, pulling him off Dean.

''like you didn't do this!'' Dean retorted angrily

''Do what?" Sam said, breathing heavily

"It's him. It's him. I've been through this already, it's really him." Bobby says, restraining Sam

Sam just stares at Dean like he might disappear "What..." he says slowly

"I know. I look fantastic, huh?"

I release Sam's shoulder, he looks like he's about to break down into tears. He grabs Dean into the most desperate hug I've ever seen. I stared st the two of them, wanting to cry myself. Sam pushes him back to arm length, like he's making sure he was still there.

''So are you two like...together?'' the girl asks, we all look at her, completely forgetting she was actually here.

snapping out of his daze Sam manages "What? No. no, he's my brother''

"Uh... got it. I... I guess. Look, I should probably go."

"Yeah. Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Sorry."

They both lean down and start picking up items of clothing, Bobby, Dean and I stand, unknowing what to do in this situation. Sam opens the door for her and she smiles at him.

"So, call me" she said

"Yeah, yeah sure thing, Kathy"

"Kristy" she corrected, looking disappointed.

"Right" Sam said, I try not to laugh at how very un-Sam-like this situation was. He closes the door quietly, turning back in and sitting down.

"So tell me, what'd it cost?"

"The girl?" Sam smiled "I don't pay, Dean

"That's not funny, Sam. To bring me back. What'd it cost? Was it just your soul, or was it something worse?" Dean folded his arms over his chest

"You think I made a deal?"

"That's exactly what we think" I said, Sam gave me sidewards glance

"well I didn't" he said stubbornly

"Don't lie to me"

"I'm not lying"

"So what now, I'm off the hook and you're on, is that it?" Dean advanced on Sam "You're some demon's bitch-boy? I didn't want to be saved like this."

"Look, Dean, I wish I had done it, all right?"

Dean grabbed Sam by the front of his shirt, making me jump "There's no other way that this could have gone down. Now tell the truth!"

Sam shoved him off, clearly getting impatient now "I tried everything. That's the truth. I tried opening the Devil's Gate. Hell, I tried to bargain, Dean, but no demon would deal, all right? You were rotting in Hell for months. For months, and I couldn't stop it. So I'm sorry it wasn't me, all right? Dean, I'm sorry."

I felt another pang of guilt for not trying to get Dean out of hell, I looked down at the floor, wanting just to sink through it

"It's okay, Sammy. You don't have to apologize, I believe you."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm gladdened that Sam's soul remains intact, but it does raise a sticky question." Bobby intersected"

"If he didn't pull me out, then what did? Dean said, looking slightly scared.

We sat in Bobby's house later, I was pushing a slightly cold plate of microwavable...substance. I didn't even know what it was, it was brown and sludgy and tasted something like potatoes. Sam sat down next to me and I stabbed my fork into the plate.

"Jordan" he said softly, I didn't look up.

"Mhm..?"

"We can't act like this forever" he mumbled, we'd not even said a word to each ither while we'd been back together. i just sighed and nodded.

"Listen Sam" I said "I'm sorry, I did want Dean back, more than anything" I sucked in a breath "But after mom and then dad, I don't know I'd just lost faith in the idea of the ones I love coming back"

"It's okay, I know I shouldn't have yelled at you. We should have stuck it out through this, I ended up losing both my big siblings"

"Are we done talking about out feelings?" I smirked

"Yeah" he chuckled, standing up and ruffling my hair

"Guys, we're going to see Bobby's psychic friend a few hours over, it's worth a shot" dean said, walking into the room

I shrugged "Yeah okay"


	3. Lightning

It took us two hours to get over to Pamela's, when she pulled open the front door we were met with a young pretty woman, she looked strong spirity with a smile that was ready for anything.

"Bobby" she grins, pulling him into a huge hug

"You're a sight for sore eyes" Bobby chuckled

"So these are the Winchesters?" she smiled

"Sam, Dean, Jordan. This is Pamela Barnes, best damn psychic in the state" Bobby said fondly

"Hey" dean said with a note of flirt

"Hi" Sam said politely, while I just nodded at her.

"Dean Winchester. Out of the fire and back in the frying pan, huh? Makes you a rare individual."

"If you say so" Dean smiles, I try not to roll my eyes. He was flirting, he was most definitely back.

"Come on in" Pamela grins

She le us in and started to set up a seance, she spreads a dark table cloth covered in symbols on her small table. Sam, Dean and I stood awkwardly, not really knowing what to do with ourselves. Pamela leans down in front of a cabinet, revealing a tattoo across the small of her back. _Jesse Forever. _

''Who's Jesse?" Dean smirked

"Well it wasn't forever" she smiled

"His loss"

Sam and I shift awkwardly, she stops beside Dean and looks him up and down.

"Might be your gain" she walks over to the table

"I am so in" Dean muttered to Sam, who rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, she'd going to eat you alive" I mumble

"Jordan, I just got out of jail. Bring it"

Pamela sits us all round the table, which now has six lighted candles in the centre. I have no idea what I'm doing with this psychic stuff.

"Right. Take each other's hands. (which we do) And I need to touch something our mystery monster touched" she said

I see Dean jump and then flush slightly red

"Whoa! Well he didn't touch me there" he said

"My mistake" Pamela winked, I glanced at Sam who looked like he was trying not to laugh. Dean met my eyes for a second before pulling up his sleeve, revealing the huge hand shaped scar. I saw Sam's breath hitch as he looked at it. Pamela gentle pressed her hand onto the mark, and closed her eyes. The four of us doing the same.

"I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle.

I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle.

I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle." Pamela chants and as she does so the television flicks on by itself, showing nothing but static. "I invoke, conjure, and command... Castiel? No. Sorry, Castiel, I don't scare easy."

"Castiel?" I said urgently, how can he be real? I though he was just my dream, but he was real and was in fact the one that pulled Dean from the bottomless pit.

"Its name. It's whispering to me, warning me to turn back." she says, eyes squinting

"Maybe we should" I add quietly, she doesn't even listen to me

"I conjure and command you, show me your face.

I conjure and command you, show me your face.

I conjure and command you, show me your face.

I conjure and command you, show me your face"

The room was now rattling and the white noise was becoming violent, this seems to worry Bobby too "Maybe you should stop"

"I almost got it.

I command you, show me your face!"

Show me your face now!"

Suddenly the candles flare up several feet in the air and Pamela begins to scream. Her eyes fly open and are filled with a white-hot flame. She collapses, the rattling, white noise, and flames die out.

"Call 9-1-1" Bobby yells, Sam scrambled from his chair and into the next room. Bobby is already on the floor with Pamela, Dean is crouched over her. I can hear her sobbing but I'm frozen to the spot. I have a horrible feeling as I look over to Pamela, she's burned and bleeding. Her eyes fly open to show nothing but burnt, black sockets. I can't even move. _Castiel_.

How did he do this?

"I can't see! I can't see! Oh god!" Pamela continues to sob.

x

I'm sat in a Diner with Dean, staring blindly into a coffee mug. Sam walks in and I look up, he's on his cell as he walks. He hangs up and rubs his hand across his chin, looking completely stressed.

"What'd Bobby say?"

"Pam's stable and out of I.C.U."

"And blind, because of us."Dean sighed

"And we still have no clue who we're dealing with."

"That's not entirely true."

"No?"

"We got a name. Castiel, or whatever. With the right mumbo-jumbo we could summon him, bring him right to us."

"You're crazy. Absolutely not."

"We'll work him over. I mean, after what he did?"

"Pam took a peek at him and her eyes burned out of her skull, and you want to have a face to face?

"You got a better idea?"

They both seemed to realise I was still there "Jordan?" Dean said, giving me a nudge, I look up and shrug.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked

"No, Pamela just got her eyes scorched out" I mumbled, that shut them up about it.

"What do you think though?" Dean urged "About this Castiel?"

"I don't know what to think" I said "I don't know it he's one of the bad guys"

"Pamela's blind because of him" Dean said impatiently

"I know, I was just stating my gut feeling okay" I said pissily, Dean sighed and was about to argue back but Sam interjected.

"Lets just go find Bobby, see what he thinks"

x

I sat with Bobby and Dean later, we'd left Sam in the motel. I knew he'd never let us summon...Castiel. If it was him. I'd spent ages convincing Dean to let me come, I just had to see if it was Castiel who had done it. I don't know what it was, I'd met him once, in a dream, yet I would trust him with my life. Bobby had argued with Dean about summoning Castiel but Dean had obviously won as we stood in an old bunker, painting every inch of the place in demon traps. Bobby was doing the ritual, I had no idea what was happening but I stood with the two of them, waiting in silence for anything to happen.

"You sure you did the ritual right?" Dean asked and Bobby gave him a steely look "Sorry. Touchy, touchy, huh?"

As if on cue, a loud rattling started shaking the entire place. I grabbed dads knife from my thigh, holding it at the ready by my waist. We stand and wait.

"Wishful thinking, but maybe it's just the wind." Dean says, lowing his gun slightly

The door suddenly bursts open and the man from my dream stalks into the room, Bobby and Dean open fire at him, rock salt and bullets hammers against his chest, he continues to walk over our demon traps, completely unfazed by the bullets. The light bulbs above his head shatter in a shower of sparks as he passes them.

"Who are you?" Dean practically growls

"I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition" he says in the same gravely voice. I find myself with a lump in my throat, unable to speak or even move.

"Yeah. Thanks for that."

Dean rears back and plunges the demon knife into Castiel's chest. He looks down, unconcerned, and pulls it out, drops it to the floor. Behind him, Bobby attacks; without looking, Castiel grabs Bobby's weapon and uses it to swing him around. Castiel touches Bobby on the forehead with two fingertips and Bobby crumples to the ground. He turns round, his eyes flicker over me for a second and my breath catches.

"We need to talk, Dean."

Dean drops down next to Bobby, checking his pulse. He stands back up and stares down Castiel, pushing me behind him out of protection, but I know Castiel won't hurt me.

"Your friend's alive."

"Who are you?

"Castiel."

"Yeah, I figured that much, I mean what are you?"

"I'm an Angel of the Lord."

"Get the hell out of here. There's no such thing."

"This is your problem, Dean. You have no faith."

Lightning flashes, and on Castiel's back great shadowy wings appear, stretching off into the distance. The light goes out and the image disappears. I breath in quickly, it's one of the most beautiful things I've seen.

"Some angel you are. You burned out that poor woman's eyes."

"I warned her not to spy on my true form. It can be... overwhelming to humans, and so can my real voice. But you already knew that. That's why I chose to come to people in dreams" he looks at me and my cheeks heat up.

"You mean the gas station and the motel. That was you talking?" Dean asked, Castiel nodded "Buddy, next time, lower the volume."

"That was my mistake. Certain people, special people, can perceive my true visage. I thought you would be one of them. I was wrong." Again, his eyes flickered to me.

"And what visage are you in now, huh? What, holy tax accountant?"

"This? This is... a vessel."

"You're possessing someone?" I asked, my voice cracked, Dean gave me a strange look.

"He's a devout man, he actually prayed for this." he said, I nodded once.

"Well unlike Jordan apparently, I'm not buying what you're selling, so who are you really?"

"I told you." he said, frowning

"Right. And why would an angel rescue me from Hell?"

"Good things do happen, Dean."

"Not in my experience." Dean and I chorus

"What's the matter? You don't think you deserve to be saved?"

"Why'd you do it?"

"Because God commanded it. Because we have work for you."

Dean looks positively vandalised, Castiel turns his gaze to me "I'll be seeing you again soon, Jordan" then with the blink of an eye he was gone

x

I sat staring into space while Dean, Sam and Bobby sat trying to figure out what Cas I knew, I knew whe was telling the truth. Dean had given me a hard time when the truth came out about the dream. He was convinced Castiel was a demon and was screwing in my head to try and get me killed. I was half listening to their conversation, as far as I could tell Sam was convinced he was an angel, Bobby thought so too because of the facts and Dean just didn't seem to want to think about it. Sam gets up to make a food round, I suck in a rough breath and stand up.

"I'm going for a walk" I mumble

"Don't go to far" Dean says absently

"I'm not 5, Dean" I grumble, slamming the door shut behind me. I instantly regret that but it was too late, sighing heavily I stuff my hands into my pockets. There is a mist in the air that dampens my hair, sticking on m face and catching in my eyelashes. I stumble into the woods next to Bobby's house. It was eerie at night, there was a visible mist hanging low in the trees, it was almost pitch black as I wandered further into the woods. I felt an uneasy feeling as I hear a wig snap behind me, I stop, my hand reaching for the knife strapped around my leg.I spin round and the sight before me makes me want to throw up.

"Ross?" I choke out

"Hello Jordan" his lips curling into a sickening smile

"But" I manage "You're dead"

"Yes, yes I am. Thanks to you"

"I couldn't do anything about it" I whispered

"You were my best friend" he said, walking towards me, I step back, hand tightening on my knife.

"I'm sorry"

"Oh, how many times have I heard that one" he spits "I can't come to see, I've got family issues, you know you were always a right bitch, excuse after excuse" I swallow hard "You know I always had a massive crush on you" Ross goes on bitterly, advancing on me, I feel myself frozen to the spot.

"I'm so sorry, Ross" it's all I can manage

"Not good enough" he says, stepping towards me sharply. There's a blinding pain next to my navel and I look down, there's a dagger sticking out my abdominal. I splutter blood from my mouth, falling to the ground with a soft thud.

This was it. The end and I was going out in a stupid way. Killed by my best friend.

I hear the rustle of feathers and suddenly Cas is looking down on me, that's it then I'm dead.

"Is this heaven?" I choke, blood trickling down my lip.

"No Jordan" Cas says softly "This may hurt, I'm sorry" Cas grabs on to the knife in my stomach, gives me a soft smile and the pulls it from my skin, I scream at the excruciating pain.

"I need to get you back to your brothers" he says, mostly to himself "I'm not sure if Dean would be okay with me healing you, this my hurt a little also"

He placed an arm under my knees, the other behind my back, he pulls me from the ground and then into his chest. I groaned at the pain, biting down on my bottom lip. Then I heard another rush of wings.

**DEAN**

"Jordan's been a long time" Sam says absently, I just make a noise through my nose "Dean?"

"She's right Sam" I snap "She's not a kid anymore, and I need to stop treating her like one"

There was a gust of wind, I turned from Sam to see Castiel. I knew something was instantly wrong when I saw Jordan, barely conscious in his arms. Then I noticed the blood trickling though her fingers that were pressed into her side.

"What did you do to her?" I hollered, standing up

"Nothing, it was a witness" Castiel said, placing a groaning Jordan down on Bobby's couch "I'm going to have to heal her"

"Don't you touch her" I growl to him

"Dean shut up" Jordan groans. I look at Castiel and give him a brief nod, he turned to Jordan. She pulled her hand away from her side, showing a huge crimson read stain on her white shirt. I heard Sam's breath catch from next to me. Castiel places his hand over her side, she winced slightly but then a white light spread from his hand. I closed my eyes against it and when I opened them again, Jordan was sitting up and blinking. She stood up slowly, the stain still on her shirt but when she pulled up her shirt to show her perfectly normal mid-riff. She grins and looks at Castiel.

"Cas, I could fricking marry you" she said, grabbed his face and planted a huge kiss right on the end of his nose. I exchanged a glance with Sam who mouthed 'Cas?' I shrugged. Jordan seemed to realize wha she'd done and awkwardly cleared her throat. Her cheeks had flamed bright red and both Sam and I raised our eye brows.

"So, um, what's a witness?" she said, not looking, a slightly flustered, Cas in the eyes.

"Spirits, of people who you couldn't save" Castiel said roughly


	4. We're Torn

I stumbled into the motel room, Dean holding me up, laughing as he did so. A sober Sam following us in.

"Dean, she drank you under the table" he laughed flipping on the flights. I laughed harder, I was completely fucking plastered. Dean dropped me onto the single bed in my motel room. Dean had bet me I couldn't do more shots than him because I was younger than his, and his sister, I'd obviously beat him by a landslide.

"We're going to check into our own room" Sam said, shaking our head at the two of us "You'll be okay, Jordan?"

"I'll be super duper" I slurred, curling up on my bed. Sam chuckled, and walked out the door with a stumbling Dean.

_Suddenly I'm in Sam's old nursery, I'm standing in the corner, I can't move my own limbs._

_"John? Is he hungry?" my head snaps towards the door and a smile spilts on to my face._

_"Mom?" I breathe_

_"Shh" I hear from Sam's crib, yellow eyesis standing over him, smiling down at baby Sam hungrily._

_"Alright" Mom said dismissavely, half asleep.I had to sand watching in the corner as Sam had to get demon blood dripped into his mouth. Then came the shrill call of my mom as she figured out what was happening-_

_"Sammy!" she bursts into the room, yellow eyes spins around, throwing her into the wall. I try to scream as she moves up the wall at a sickeningly slow pace. When she finally gets to the room a red stain appears on her stomach as she tried to scream. I can feel myself writhing even though I wasn't moving at all, my lungs screaming for help with no noise coming out. She lets out a bloodcurdling scream and yellow eyes just disappear._

_I see dad coming into the room a minute later, he scans it for a second before walking over to I can't help but wish I'd known him at this age, not knowing a thing about demons or what was about to happen. I try to scream for him to look up but it sticks in my throat and is forced back down. I see a drop of mom's blood drip on to dad's hand, he frowns at it as a couple more drop down. He looks around slowly and sees mom, is eyes widen and he falls to the floor, I feel the heat on my face as the room burts into flame anddad is screaming moms name._

I wake with a start, my breaths coming out in sharp gasps. I sit up slowly, I'm covered in a cold sweat and my drunkenness is replaced with the mother of all hang overs. I feel a gust of wind on my face and look up to see Cas looking down on me.

"Jordan" he breathes "You're call was reaching me, are you alright"

"I'm fine" I lie, rubbing my temples "bad dream"

"Well, alright, if you are well" he says, I reach out quickly to grab his arm. He looks back quickly.

"wait" I say sharply, completely shaken by my nightmare "Please, don't go"

Castiel looks slightly confused by the situation "I lied" I continue "I'm really not fine at all"

He pulls a chair from the other side of the room and sits in front of me "I believe, in these situations, it is customary to talk about it"

"Ah really" I smirk "If i must?''

"It's your decision Jordan, I cannot make you do anything, well I could but I would refrain from doing it to you"

"I dreamt about my parents deaths" I said rubbing my forehead "I don't even know if it's what actually happened or if my imagination is being a bitch"

"They're only dreams Jordan" Cas said softly, I sigh heavily.

"But they're dreams of things that actually happened" I reply, Cas seems to not know what to say to this.

"Take my mind of it" I practically whisper, he cocks his head at me, confused.

"What do you mean?"

"God dammit Cas, just talk to me about something" I said, shuffling across my bed, closer to him. He looks down, looking slightly flustered.

"I wouldn't know what to say"

"Anything" I say, reaching over, lifting his chin so he looks me in the eyes. I never really noticed how blue his eyes atually were, or how blue his vessel's eyes are. "Wha's your favourite colour?"

"What?"

"Colours Cas" I chuckle "Which one is your favourite?"

"As in I would prefer one colour over another?" he asks, looking almost scandalised

"Yes" I laugh "Mine's probably blue" I add, searching his perfectly ocean blue eyes for any form of an answer. His eye colour is my new favourite.

"Green" he half smiles, looking into my green eyes. I can feel myself blushing slightly. I look at him, he's not what you would expect an angel to be. I have to keep reminding myself he's not human. Then a thought accors

"Cas?" I ask softly

"mh?"

"Are you, uh" I stumble "Are you, y'know, a virgin?"

I see his cheeks flush as he looks down, his mouth moving, trying to form words he can't seem to be able to get out.

"In a straight answer, yes, I am" he says after a minute ofsilence. I smirk at him.

"I might have to change that sometime" I say sofly, his eyes widen "Not tonight though big boy" I laugh, curling under the covers again "Besides, you'd have to buy me a drink first, goodnight Cas"

"Goodnight Jordan" he replies I can hear the smile in his voice

"Cas?" I ask quietly

"Mh?"

"Will you stay here tonight?" I say, glad it's dark because I'm blushing violenty "I just don't want to be alone"

"Of course" he says in his throaty voice, I smile to myself, closing my eyes and letting sleep wash over me.

X

I woke up the next morning and my head was thumping, bits and pieces of the night before coming back slowly. I hear a rustle in the corner of my room, I stiffened, my arm reaching upnder my pillow to grab my hanfgun. I spun around quickly and pointed it at the corner. I let out a sigh at, a slightly surprsied, Cas.

"Sorry" I chuckle, putting the safety on my gun, I rub a hand over my forehead "Not to sound rude, but why are you here?"

"You asked me to stay" he said

"Oh" I managed, trying to remember. Then it suddenly hit me what I'd said last night and groaned loudly "Ugh I'm sorry, I was hammered, you didn't have to stay"

"I wanted to" he said softly and I felt my cheeks heat up a little

"Well I'm going to take a shower, but you could stay, we're going hunting today I think" I said, awkwardly shuffling my feet.

"I should leave" he said "But I hope to be seeing you again soon" there was the familiar rustle of feathers and when I looked up he was gone. Sighing heavily to myself I walked into the shower.

I walked back into the motel room later that day, bloody and covered in salt but hey, we'd ganked that mother fucking spirt. Though he had gone down fighting, which was fair enough, I would have done the same. I walked into the bathroom, locking the door shut behind me. I sighed and turned on the cold water, standing in the shower and letting in run over all my cuts and scrapes, I looked down at the one on my thigh which might need stitches. _I need to stop wearing shorts to hunts_, I though to myself. A loud crash from outside make me almost slip in the shower. I quickly shut the shower off, grabbing a towel around myself, I ran into the room. Not sure how I could defend myself in a towel but hey-ho. I breathed a sigh of relief as it was just Cas, he was standing staring into space as Dean picked up the broken lamp from the bedside table. Cas appearing seemed to have scared him a little too much. When I burst into the room the three of them looked round at me, I blushed like crazy at the towel that was barely covering my ass. Cas's eyes flickered to my leg.

"That looks bad" he commented at the deep gash on my leg

"I'll live" I shrugged, Cas stepped forward and gently placed his index finger on my leg, I winced but soon felt nothing. I looked down and run my thumb along the faint pink line that had replaced the cut. I smiled.

"I could get used to having you around" I smirk then look up at him, I clear my throat roughly "Well since you guys aren't in any imminent danger I'm going to go put some clothes on"

I locked the bathroom door behind me, breathing deeply for a second. Cas got me worked up, dammit. I pulled on my battered denim shorts and Jack Daniels tank before walking back out, my hair still damp from the shower.

"So what's shaking Cas?" I smiled, running my brush through my hair.

"I don't understand? Why would something be shaking?" he asked, brows knitted together, I just snorted.

"I mean, why are you here?" I smiled kindly

"To warn you" he replied evenly,"I don't have much time" he then listed a set of co-ordinates before disappearing again

"I wish he's quit zapping in and out like that" I said, opening Sam's laptop to google the adress.

x

"So what's the address Cas wanted us to go to?" Sam asked, putting a cup of coffee next to me. I smiled, taking it in my hands and wrapping my fingers around the mug.

"Um, it's a mental clinic" I said, scratching my forehead.

"Is he trying to tell us something?" Dean joked, I half smiled at the joke.

"Where a paitent, Anna Milton, excaped from a few days ago. After she right hooked a guy who came into her room. She got out of a locked ward"

"You think Cas wants us to investigate?" Sam asked, raising an eye brow.

"Either that or he thinks we're mentally unstable" I snorted

"Probably both" Dean muttered

We were in the ward later, dressed up in out FBI crap. Questioning Anna's pyschologist on Anna's escape.

"Now, the orderly has no recollection of Anna's escape?" sam asked

"Apparently, she knocked him unconscious. The blow caused some amnesia. He doesn't even remember coming into her room."

"That's a hell of a right hook to knock out a guy that's got 80 pounds on her." Dean said, frowns knitted

"We think she may have planned this, waited behind the door."

"Right" I nodded, unconvinced "Uh, you mentioned Anna's illness was recent?"

"Two months ago, she was happy, well-adjusted, journalism major, lots of friends - Bright future."

"So, what happened - she just... flipped?" asked Dean

"Well, that's the tragedy of schizophrenia. Within weeks, Anna was overtaken by delusions."

"What kind of delusions?" I ask

"She thought demons were everywhere" she replied, handing me a sketch book

"Interesting" Dean said, mostly to himself

"It's not uncommon for our patients to believe that monsters are real." she said sympethetically

"Well that" Dean said "that's just batty" I start flipping through Anna's sketch book, Sam was looking over my shoulder at the words "Rising of the Witnesses" and "Samhain the next seal is broken"

"That's Revelations" Dean said, looking down at the book

"Since when does the Book of Revelations have jack-o'-lanterns?" the psychologist asked, looking thoughraly confused.

"It's a, uh, it's a little-known translation." Dean said

"Well, Anna's father was a church deacon. When she became ill, her paranoia took on religious overtones. She was convinced the devil was about to rise up and end the world. I hope you find her. It's dangerous for her to be out there alone right now."

"Sure" I nod

We stand outside Anna's parents home later, we had been outside for 5 minutes knocking.

"Maybe they're not home" I suggest

"Both cars in the driveway" Sam replied

"They could have walked" I smirk, winking at Sam, who rolls his eyes. Dean tries the door, it swings open. We exchange glances and walk in slowly.

"Mr and Mrs Milton? Dean called, we were met by two bed bodies, their throats cuts, spilling blood on to their white carpeds

"Dammit, I muttered, crouching down to them. I put my finger in the dust around them "Sulphur, demons beat us here" I slid two fingers over their eye lids, closing them and thinking _I'm sorry_.

"hey, do you still have Anna's sketch book?" Sam asked, i turned and stood up, he was holding a family photo of hers.

"Yeah" I said grabbing it from my pocket, I handed it to him and he flipped through the pages before stopping on one of a stained glass window. He held it next to a picture of her and her parents, the church window matches the one in her sketch book.

"She was drawing the window of her church" Dean said

"Over and over" Sam said, flipping through a few more pages

"So, If you were religious, scared, and had demons on your ass, where would you go to feel safe?"

I pushed open the attic door to Anna's church, we'd searched all of down stairs with no result, I was staring to lose hope in her being here. Until I saw something move behind a Viser. I nod towards it, dad's knife clutched in my hand.

"Anna?" I ask, lowering it "We're not gonna hurt you. We're here to help. My name is Jordan. These are my brothers, Sam and Dean."

"Jordan? Not Jordan Winchester?"

"Uh, yeah" I said looking at my brothers, a girl emmerged out from behind the viser, she was pretty with red hair.

"You're Sam?" she said, looking to Sam"And Dean. The Dean?" her eyes flickering to Dean

"Well, yeah. The Dean, I guess." Dean said awkwardly

"It's really you. Oh, my god. The angels talk about you. You were in Hell, but Castiel pulled you out, and some of them think you can help save us. And some of them don't like you at all. They talk about you all the time lately. As well as you" she said, turning to me "They say Castiel likes you too much and it will get in the way in the end. I feel like I know you." I smiled softly at her.

"So, you talk to angels?"

"Oh, no. No, no way. Um, they probably don't even know I exist. I just kind of... overhear them."

"You overhear them?" Sam asked

"Yeah, they talk, and sometimes I just... hear them in my head."

"Like... right now?" Dean asked carefully

"Not right this second, but a lot. And I can't shut them out, there are so many of them."

"So, they lock you up with a case of the crazies when really you were just... tuning in to angel radio?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"Anna, when did the voices start? Do you remember?" I asked softly

"I can tell you exactly - September 18th." she replied

"The day I got out of Hell." Dean stated

"First words I heard, clear as a bell - "Dean Winchester is saved."

"It's above my pay grade, man." Sam said

"Hey, um, do you know - are my parents okay? I - I didn't go home. I was afraid." Anna asked, Ruby then bursts into the attic.

"You got her" she breather "Good, now lets go"

"Her face!" Anna gasps

"It's okay" I said to Anna "She's here to help"

"Yeah don't be so sure" Dean muttered

"We have to hurry" Ruby said impaitently

"Why?"

"Because a demon's coming - big-timer. We can fight later, Dean."

"Well, that's pretty convenient - showing up right when we find the girl with some bigwig on your tail?"

"I didn't bring him here. You did."

"What?"

"He followed you from the girl's house. We got to go now."

"Guys" Sam said, nodding at a statue that had started bleeding from the eyes.

"It's too late, he's here" Ruby said

"Come on Anna" I said carefully, taking her by the elbow and hiding her in the closet.

"Stay in here" I say "Don't move"

"Okay, thank you Jordan" I nod at her, closing the closet doors. When I turn back Dean and Ruby are arguing about Sam excorcing the son of a bitch, which doesn't last to long. As the demon enters, Sam extends a hand to try to excorsise him but it doesn't work.

"That tickles. You don't have the juice to take me on, Sam." it smirks, he throws Sam down the stairs, Dean tries at him with Ruby's knife but doesn't get to far.

"Hello again, Dean" it says, I rush to the closet and pull Anna out, she wasn;t safe in there and at least out her I could protect her.

"Come on Dean" he continues "Don't you recognize me? Oh, I forgot - I'm wearing a pediatrician. But we were so close... in Hell."

"Alistair" Dean growls. But then Sam comes up behind him, stabbing him through the chest with the demon knife.

"You're gonna have to try a whole lot harder than that, son."

Dean and Sam exchange a look before looking at the stain glass window, it hits me what they're about to do. Dean grabs be around the shoulders in a protective enclose as they charge for the window. I reach out to grab Anna but her fingers slip through mine as my brothers pull me through a window.

**Alright yeah I know there's not been a lot between Cas and Jordan yet but there will be in chapters soon! Thanks for reading and please review and crap ;) Btw what do you think is a better ship name? Jardiel or Cordan? (I prefer Jardiel but idk) -Char ox**


	5. Bored To Death In Heaven

I sat in the motel later, sewing shut a cut on Sam's left arm. I'd come out pretty well, Dean had taken most of the blow, landing on his shoulder and dislocating it. I'd only got a few cuts and had poured whiskey on them, I'll live. I was first aid trained to an extreme extent, I'd got just about every injury possible from these two. They came up with genius ideas like jumping from windows all the time.

"Are you almost done?" Dean asks from the bathroom

"I'm going as fast as I can" I grumble, cutting the end of the string in Sam's shoulder and tying it shut.

"Good" he grunted "cause you know I got a dislocated shoulder over here"

"I'm not your mother Dean" I said winking at him "Get over here, I'll pop it back in"

Dean and Sam switched places, Sam mumbling a thank you and pulling his sleeve back down. I went to wash Sam's blood of my hands, half listening to Sam and Dean talking "So you lost the magic knife huh?" Dean asked, I walked back in.

"Yeah, saving your ass" Sam retaliates

"Boys, boys" I laugh "Alright come on" I said, positioning myself to push Dean's shoulder back in "On three, One..."

I shoved it back in and he cursed and groaned "Where the hell did two and three go?"

"I thought I'd take you by surprise" I smirked, kissing the top of his head, he just grunted at me.

"We have to find Anna" Dean stated, standing up and flexing his shoulder as I packed away the first aid stuff. A knock at the door made as all turn to look.

"Housekeeping" a voice said

"Not now" Dean called

"Sir, I've got clean towels" she sais urgently, I shrugged and opened the door, she pushed her way in

"Go now. Go through the bathroom window, don't stop, don't take your car, don't pass go. There are demons in the hallway and in the parking lot."

"Ruby?" Sam questioned

"Okay, yes, so I'm possessing this maid for a hot minute. Sue me." she said impaitently

"What about -"

"Slowly rotting on the floor back at the cabin with Anna, so I've got to hurry back. See you when you get there. Go"

We made a run for it through the bathroom window, me going first, Sam giving me a boost as I couldn't reach it on my own. My brothers following in suit as we ran for the cabin.

x

"Anna, are you okay?" I asked as soon as I got in, she smiled, giving me a half hug and holding on to my arms.

"Yeah. I think so. Ruby's not like other demons. She saved my life." I gave her a nod

"Hey, Sam, you think it'd be safe to make a quick call, just to tell my parents I'm okay? They must be completely freaked." Anna interjects

"Uh.." Sam manages

"What"

"Anna, um... Y-Your parents..."

"I'm sorry" I said, squeezing her elbow reassuringly

"I don't understand why this is happening to me"

"Niether do we, I'm so sorry Anna" I whisper, she nodded then her head snaps up. "They're here"

"Back room" Dean said, I take Anna's hand and lead her into the back room.

"You'll be fine"

"You promise?"

I paused, not wanting to lie but hey, I was good at it "I promise" I walked back to my brothers. Grabbing the knife from my leg and holding it ready. The door shakes violently before bursting open. Castiel and Uriel enter.

"Please tell me you're here to help. We've been having demon issues all day." Dean said

"Well, I can see that. You want to explain why you have that stain in the room?" Uriel said, I gripped the knife tighter, my knuckles going white.

"We're here for Anna" Cas said in his rough voice

"Here for her like... here for her?" Dean said

"Stop talking. Give her to us." Uriel growled and I wanted nothing more to jam my knife through his neck.

"Are you going to help her?" I asked Cas, not looking Uriel in the eye. He gives me a pained look.

"No" he manages "She had to die"

"Cas" I say pleadingly, he looks torn but ignores me.

"You want Anna? Why?" Sam asked

"Out of the way" Uriel says

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, I know she's wiretapping your angel chats or whatever, but it's no reason to gank her." Dean says

"Don't worry" Uriel says with a sickening smile "I'll kill her gentle" A growl escaped from the back of my throat, the urge to strangle him becoming hard to resist.

"You're some heartless sons of bitches, you know that?" Dean says, Cas tilts his head in his signature way.

"As a matter of fact, we are. And?" Castiel said and for the first time his confusion was annoying.

"And? Anna's an innocent girl." Sam replied

"She is far from innocent." Cas said

"What's that supposed to mean?" I say, narrowing my eyes at him

"It means she's worse than this abomination your brother's been screwing. Now give us the girl." Uriel said, I take a step towards him but Dean grabs the back of my shirt.

"Sorry. Get yourself another one. Try JDate."

"Who's gonna stop us? You two? Or this demon whore?" Uriel says, throwing Ruby into a wall. That was the final straw, I go to attack Uriel, Dean didn't hold me back. I don't get too far before he knocks my knife from my hand, before straight up punching me across the face. Holding me by the throat against a wall. Dean practically roars and comes at Uriel, who just catches him by the forehead and Dean crumples to the ground.

"Cas, stop...please." Sam says but Cas touches his forehead, knocking him out too.

"I've been waiting for this. The middle sibling. The Winchester bitch" he says, I struggle under his grip

"I'm going to kill you myself one day" I spit at him, he laughs.

"Uriel" Cas says, pulling him off me. I drop the the floor, gasping for breath. _I'm sorry _Cas's voice says in my head. I look up at him and his eyes are boring into mine. Suddenly a white light erupts into the room and Castiel and Uriel are engulfed in it and disappear.

"What the.." Dean manages as I help him to his feet. Sam was groaning and standing up, helping Ruby to her feet. I dash into the back room, she was covered in her own blood. My eyes widen and I drop to my knees trying to pull her to her feet again. I look over to the mirror where she had drawn sigils in her own blood.

"Are they - are they gone?" she asked weakly

"Did you kill them?" I ask, not wanting Cas to be... to be gone.

"No. I sent them away. Far away"

"How?"

"That just popped in my head, I don't know how I did it. I just did"

I sat with Anna in the cabin later, tending to her wounds. She cut her own wrists to get that sigil on the wall, it had saved my bacon though so I'm not complaining.

"That was reallly brave of you" I said, wrapping a bandage around her arm

"Thank you Jordan" she smiled "The angels talk about you a lot"

"They seem to like the Winchester bitch" I sigh

"there are very few who do not like you Jordan" she said, I smiled at her. "Castiel certainly likes you"

"yeah" I say absently

"You shouldn't blame him for this" she said, I looked down "He wanted anything but to hurt you"

"Thanks" I smiled, tying her bandages shut. "Now come on, lets get you safe"

Anna was sitting in a chair in the panic room, Dean giving her the tun down of the place.

"Iron walls drenched in salt. Demons can't even touch the joint."

"Which I find racist, by the way." Ruby said, standing outside the door, arms crossed

"Write your congressman." Dean said, rolling his eyes

"Here."

"Hex bags?" I asked

"Extra-crunchy. They'll hide us from angels, demons, all comers."

"Thanks, Ruby." Dean said, then turned to Anna "Don't lose this. So, Anna, what's playing on angel radio? Anything useful?"

"It's quiet. Dead silence." Anna said, shaking her head.

"Good. That's not troubling at all."

"We're in trouble, huh? You guys are scared?"

''Nah." I said "We're safe...ish, besides we have a close pyschic friend coming here, she'll help"

A few hours later Dean was leading Pamela down the stairs,

"we're here" he said grinning

"Hey Pamela" Sam smiled

"Sam?"

"Yeah"

"Sam, is that you?"

"I'm right here"

"Oh. Know how I can tell?" she smirks then grabs Sam's ass, I splutter on the water I was drinking "That perky little ass of yours. You could bounce a nickel off that thing. Of course I know it's you, grumpy. Same way I know that's a demon, and that poor girl's Anna, Jordan just choked on her water while trying not to laugh and that you've been eyeing my rack."

"Uh..." Sam stumbled awkwardly

"Don't sweat it, kiddo. I still got more senses than most." she grinned "and if Jordan doesn't get her ass over here to hug me right now I'm going to lose it"

I giggled and walked over, grabbing her into a hug "It's good to see you again"

"You too baby girl" she says, patting my shoulder. I would be confuesed as that was what Dean called me until we started to hunt again, but she was physchic so I just let it go.

"Hey, Anna. How are you? I'm Pamela."

"Hi." Anna smiled

"Dean told me what's been going on. I'm excited to help."

"Oh. That's nice of you."

"Oh, well, not really. Any chance I can dick over an angel, I'm taking it." i looked away, feeling guilty that Cas had done this to her and I felt...something about him.

"Why?"

"They stole something from me." she said, taking off her sunglasses to reveal white eyes "Demon-y, I know. But they're just plastic. Good for business. Makes me look extra-psychic, don't you think?" she chuckles "Now...how about you tell me what your deal is? Hmm? Don't you worry."

I waited outside the panic room with Ruby while Pamela was with Anna, that was until I heard exploions and Anna screaming from inside. I burst through the door, Anna was screaming her lungs out, back arching off the bed. Pamela trying to calm her down. Dean tried to walk towards Anna but she throws him tnto a wall

"Wake in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Anna..." Pam said carefully as Anna sat up slowly "Anna? You all right?"

"Thank you, Pamela. That helps a lot. I remember now."

"Remember what?" Sam urged gentily

"Who I am."

"I'll bite. Who are you?"

"I'm an angel." she said simply "Don't be afraid, I'm not like the others."

"I don't find that very reassuring." Ruby says

"Neither do I." Pamela agrees

"So...Castiel, Uriel - they're the ones that came for me?"

"You know them?" I say, unsteady

"We were kind of in the same foxhole"

"So, what, were they like your bosses or something?" Dean said, confused

"Try the other way around."

"Look at you."

"But now they want to kill you?" Pamela asked

"Orders are orders. I'm sure I have a death sentence on my head."

"Why?" Pamela asked

"I disobeyed... which, for us, is about the worst thing you can do. I fell.2

"Out of heaven?" I asked, she nodded "So angels can just.. become human?"

"Yes but it hurts" she says "like cutting your kidney out with a butter knife, I ripped out my grace"

"Come again?" Dean asks, raising an eye brow

"My grace. It's... enery. I hacked it out and fell"

I'm sat in the Barn with my brothers, who were currently bickering over if Dean should drink this early. With his cleverly thought through answer of "it's 2, somewhere. Anna asking is he was okay, making him sift awkwardly.

The barn doors blast open and Uriel and Cas walk in.

"Can they never just knock or something?" I grubmle, pulling my knife out, mostly out of habit

"Hello, Anna. it's good to see you again" Cas says

"How? How did you find us?" Sam stutters, I look at dean who looks more uncomfortable than ever.

"Dean?" I say gently

"I'm sorry" he says to Anna

"Why?" Sam asks

"Because they gave him a choice. Eiher kill me, or kill the two of you" she leans over and kisses his cheek "You did the best you could. I forgive you. Okay. No more tricks. No more running. I'm ready."

"I'm sorry" Castiel says

"No. You're not. Not really. You don't know the feeling"

"Still, we have a history. It's just -"

"Cas, please" I say, he looks at me, his huge blue eyes looked different

"It's alright Jordan" Anna says, touching my knife hand. I lowered it and pushed it back into the holder on my leg. The doors burst open again and Alistair walks in with another demon, dragging a bleeding Ruby behind him.

"Don't you touch a hair on that poor girl's head." he says, grinning in a sickening way

"How dare you come in this room... you pussing sore" Uriel spits

"Name-calling. That hurt my feelings... You sanctimonious, fanatical prick." Alistair laughs

"Turn around and walk away now." Cas growls

"Sure. Just give us the girl. We'll make sure she gets punished good and proper."

"You know who we are and what we will do. I won't say it again. Leave now... or we lay you to waste."

"Think I'll take my chances."

Cas takes the first swing and the angels and demons burst into a fight, Cas trying to exorcise Alistair with no result.

"Sorry, kiddo. Why don't you go run to daddy?" Alistairs then starts exorcising Cas "Potestas inferna, me confirma. Potestas inferna, me confirma. Potestas inferma, me confirma!" I don't know what to do so I grab the nearest objust, which luckily was a crowbar and smash Alistair in the back of the head with it.

"Oh Jordan" he smirks "I am so disapointed. You had so much promise"

Alistair lunges at me and Sam and Dean run to help, it's an un even fight. 3 to 1 but we don't give a rats ass. Anna grabs the pendant from around Uriel's neck while he's exorcising another demon.

"Shut your eyes" she yells as she smashes it on the ground, a white lights explodes from the gorund, rushing into her eyes and mouth, making Alistair disappear, dropping Ruby's knife as he did so. Anna followed in suit, disappearing with the rustle of wings.

"Well, what are you guys waiting for? Go get Anna. Unless, of course, you're scared." Dean says, I pull Cas to his feet.

"Thank you" he says gruffly, I smile and his lips twitch into the tiniest of smiles.

"This isn't over." Uriel says

"Oh, it looks over to me, junkless." Dean spits

and with that Cas and Uriel disappear.


	6. Down Alone In Hell

I yawn widely, leaning on Sam as we walk to another crappy motel room. I was exhausted from our day' events and all I wanted to do was fall asleep on a lumpy matress that smelled of god knows what, with Sam rolling over and kicking me in the middle of the night.

"Home crappy home" Dean muttered as he unlocked the door. Sam flicked the lights on to see Castiel and Uriel inside of our room.

"Winchesters" Uriel says in a monotone

"Oh come on" I mumble, pushing through them to sit on my bed.

"You're needed"

"Needed?" Dean asked, getting pissed already "We just got back from needed"

"Now, you mind your tone with me." Uriel says

"No, you mind your damn tone with us." Dean spat

"We just got back from Pamela's funeral." Sam said, flexing his shoulders in that way he does when he's upset.

_"_Pamela. You know, psychic Pamela? You remember her? Cas, you remember her. You burned her eyes out. Remember that? Good times. Yeah, then she died saving one of your precious seals. So maybe you can stop pushing us around like chess pieces for _five freaking minutes!" _Dean yelled.

"We raised you out of hell for our purposes." Uriel said evenly

"Yeah, what were those again? What exactly did you want from me?"

"Start with gratitude."

"Dean, we know this is difficult to understand." Cas interjects

"And we-" Cas gives Uriel a look "-don't care. Now, seven angels have been murdered, all of them from our garrison. The last one was killed tonight."

"Demons? How they doing it?" I asked, rubbing my forehead to try to stay awake.

"We don't know"

"I'm sorry, but what do you want us to do about it? I mean, a demon with the juice to ice angels has to be out of our league, right?" Sam says, folding his arms over his chest.

"We can handle the demons, thank you very much." Uriel says indifferently

"Once we find whoever it is" Cas chips in

"So you need our help hunting a demon?" Dean asks, raising his eyebrows, I stand up and walk over to Dean's side. He needed back up in this.

"Not quite. We have Alastair"

"Great. He should be able to name your trigger man."

"But he won't talk. Alastair's will is very strong. We've arrived at an impasse."

"Yeah, well, he's like a black belt in torture. I mean, you guys are out of your league."

"That's why we've come to his student. You happen to be the most qualified interrogator we've got." Uriel says and I have to hold back the growl building in my throat. Dean looks down, I slip my hand into him, squeezing so tight I feel like I'll break my wrist.

"Dean, you are our best hope" Cas says

"No. No way." I say, he looks at me with a pained expression "You can't ask this, Cas. Not this." I practically beg, Uriel advances on me and Dean.

"Who said anything about asking?"

x

I'm sat on and old stair case, practically rocking back and forth at the situation and what Dean's about to do, I'm only half listening to what Dean and Cas are saying.

"This devil's trap is old Enochian. He's bound completely."

"Fascinating" Dean says sarcastically, he walks over and grabs my hand, pulling me to my feet and pushing me behind him in his protective way.

"Where's the door?"

"Where are you going?"

"Hitch back to Cheyenne, thank you very much"

Dean pulls me past Uriel and towards the door but he steps into our path.

"Angels are dying, boy" he says venomously

"Everyone's dying these days" I say, my voice cracking in a way that made me seem weak

"hey, I get it." Dean starts "You're all-powerful. You can make me do whatever you want. But you can't make me do this."

"This is too much to ask, I know. But we have to ask it." Cas says, I look at him.

"Cas, please" I say, his eyes flicker away from mine in a guilt sticken way. Dean looks from Cas, to me, then to Uriel.

"We want to talk to Cas alone" Dean says to Uriel

"I think I'll go seek revelation. We might have some further orders."

"Well, get some donuts while you're out." I mutter

"Ah, these Winchesters, they just won't wont will they? I think I'm starting to like you, girl." Uriel laughs and I stare at him while he vanishes.

"You guys don't walk enough. You're gonna get flabby." Dean says but Cas doesn't even react "You know, I'm starting to think junkless has a better sense of humor than you do."

"Uriel's the funniest angel in the garrison. Ask anyone." Cas says, and I roll my eyes. Smiling on the inside at his innocent comment. Dean walks up to him, still holding my hand and pulling me with him.

"What's going on, Cas? Since when does Uriel put a leash on you?" I ask, letting go of Dean's hand and stepping in front of him. Feeling more comfortable without Uriel here.

"My superiors have begun to question my sympathies."

"Your sympathies?"

"I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You. They feel I've begun to express... feelings. The doorways to doubt. This can impair my judgment." I don't know wwhether to smile at that staement or not so my lips sort of twitch awkwardly as he keeps his gaze locked on mine, Dean interrupts-

"Well, tell Uriel, or whoever...you do not want me doing this, trust me."

"Want it, no. But I have been told we need it."

"You ask me to open that door and walk through it, you will not like what walks back out."

"For what it's worth, I would give anything not to have you do this."

I'm sat on the steps later, being forced to listen to everyone of Alastairs screams and knowing it's my brother who's causing it. Cas sits next to me and I sigh, resting my forehead in my hand.

"I am truly sorry Jordan, but it is required"

"Tell it to someone who can do something about it" I grumble

"You are angry at me?" Cas asks and I let of a cold laugh

"Just a tiny bit, yeah" I say, a slight edge in my voice "My brother is through there torturing a demon, every part of this would remind him of hell and all you can pull out of your ass is 'I'm sorry' It's too little, too late"

Cas doesn't say anything after that, I listen to Alastair scream again and involuntarily flinch. I wish Sammy was here. I take a sidewards glace at Cas and sigh, giving in. I rest my head on his shoulder. He seems to be awkward in this situation but I feel his arm go round my shoulders inevitabley.

"Who was Ross?" he asks suddenly, I smile, he's trying to take my mind off it.

"My best friend" I sigh "I went hunting in Lawrence once, and he followed me. He was always a curious bastard, got himself killed in the end." I suck in a shaky breath "It was my fault."

"It was anything but your fault Jordan" Cas says, I smile.

"Thanks Cas"

"I used to never believe in this monster crap" I say, wanting to talk over the blood curdling screams coming from the next room "Used to think my dad was off on business trips and that Dean was lying out his ass about demons and ghosts and, well, everything my life has become"

"when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth" Cas says and I chuckle

"Did you just quote Sherlock Holmes?" I said, looking up at him, he smiles slightly

"I'm surprised you were familiar with that quote"

"I'm just full of surprises" I smirk, I look at him lips then back to his eyes. I would have leaaned into kiss him if I had not realised how silent it was, we were about an inch apart when whispered

"Is it just me, or is it too quiet?" I whisper urgently. I throw myself from the stairs and run into the room, Alastair had a broken and bloody Dean against a wall, punching him repeatedly. Cas is already there. Alastair turns to see him and he jabs Ruby's knife into him. It doesn't kill him, but it would have hurt like a bitch.

"Well, almost. Looks like God is on my side today." Alastair smirked weakly, Cas moved his hand slightly and the knife twisted in his chest. Alastair grunted in pain and pulled out the knife.

"Well, like roaches, you celestials. Now, I really wish I knew how to kill you. But all I can do is send you back to heaven." he says before chanting in Latin, blue light starts to pour from Cas's eyes and mouth. For lack of a better option go to grab Ruby's knife but Alastair starting to choke stopped me. Sam has arrived and is holding his hand out to Alastair. Cas slumps to the ground and I drop beside him, lifting his head up so he's look at me, his blue eyes half closed. I slap him lightly on the face

"come one Cas, you lazy sun of a bitch" I say

"That's slightly rude" he mumbles and I chuckle lightly.

Meanwhile Sam is yelling and choking Alastair with his mind "How are the demons killing angels?"

"It's not us. We're not doing it."

"I don't believe you."

"Lilith is not behind this. She wouldn't kill seven angels. Oh, she'd kill a hundred, a thousand." Sam stops, his brows furrowing together at this information "Oh, go ahead. Send me back, if you can."

"I'm stronger than that now. Now I can kill."

Sam holds out his hand and a gold light flares inside Alastair as he screams, his vessel then collapses to the floor in a heap.

I'm sat in the chair next to Dean's hosptial bed, his breathing tube is gone but he's out like a light. I'm aimlessly swirling about an inch of cold cofee in a plastic cup. A small gust of wind on my face makes me look up, Cas is standing in the room.

"Are you all right?" he asks softly

"I'll live" I sigh, looking at Dean "I'm not the one you should be worrying about"

"You need to be more careful."

"You need to learn how to manage a damn devil's trap."

"That's not what I mean. Uriel is dead."

"Was it the demons?"

"It was disobedience. He was working against us."

"Is it true? Did Dean break the first seal? Did he start all this?" I practically whisper, looking at him, peacefully asleep.

"Yes. When we discovered Lilith's plan for him, we laid siege to hell and we fought our way to get to him before he—"

"Jump-started the apocalypse."

"And we were too late."

"Why didn't you just leave him there?" I say harshly

"It's not blame that falls on Dean, it's fate. The righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it. You and your brothers have to stop it."

"Lucifer? The apocalypse? What does that mean?" I say, he sighs and I can tell he's about tofly off "Hey! Don't you go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch. What does that mean"

"I don't know."

"Bull."

"I don't. Jordan, they don't tell me much. I know our fate rests with you and Sam and Dean."

"Well, then you guys are screwed. We can't do it, Cas. It's too big. Alastair was right. He's not all here." I sigh heavily "I'm not—I'm not strong enough. Well, I guess I'm not the person either of our dads wanted me to be. Find someone else. It's not me."

I can feel tears spilling from my eyes and I laugh at myself, brushing them away.

"I'm sorry" Cas says softly, he leans down, brushing his lips on my forehead. Then came the rustle of wings and he was gone.

**A/N -there you go bros! New chapter update that I was writing at 4am last night, so sorry if it's crap. I put some more Jardiel in there, as promised. It will be more later, you'll see! Review and all the usual drill! -Char xo**


	7. Be Ourselves

I walk into a comic book store, dressed in my FBI crap, and smile. Places like this brought back so many memories of me and Sam as kids, not wanted on hunts with dad and Dean would come in here. We'd hide behind isles and read because we couldn't afford to buy any. We'd get thrown out more often than not. We walked towards the man behind the counted who looked uncomfortable

"Uh, can I help you?"

"I sure hope so. Agents DeYoung, Shaw and Harper" We flashed him our fake badges "Just need to ask a few questions"

"Notice anything strange in the building, last couple of days?" Sam asked

"Like what?"

"Well, other tenants reported flickering lights" Dean said

"I don't think so, why?"

"What about any noises?" I continue "Any skittering in the walls? Kind of like rats?"

"And the FBI is investigating a rodent problem?" he said, becoming skeptical

"What about cold spots?" Sam said, ignoring his question "Feel any sudden drops in temperature?" The guys face split into a grin

"I knew it!" he exclaimed "You guys are LARPing, aren't you?"

"Excuse me?" Dean asked, bemused

"You're fans" he grinned

"Fans of what?" I almost laugh

"What is LARPing?" Dean said

"Like you don't know" he said, smiling at our confused expressions "Live Action Role Play! And pretty hard core too"

"I'm sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about" Dean said, brows knitted together

"You're asking questions like the building's haunted. Like those guys from the books. What are they called? Uh... "Supernatural." Two guys and their hot sister (I shift uncomfortabley), use fake IDs with rock aliases, hunt down ghosts, demons, vampires. What are their names? Uh... Steve, Jade and Dirk? Uh, Sal, Jenna and Dane?"

"Sam, Jordan and Dean?" Sam says

"That's it!" he grins

"You're saying this is a book?" I say, feeling very self concious

"Books. It was a series. Didn't sell a lot of copies, though. Kind of had more of an underground cult following. " He walks over to the Bargain Bin, Sam, Dean and I following "Let's see. Um... Ah. Yeah" he mumbled to himself, rumaging around and pulling out a book "That's the first one, I think" he hands it to Dean, who reads off the blurb

""Along a lonely California highway, a mysterious woman in white lures men to their deaths.""

"Give me that" Sam says, grabiing the book "We're gonna need all the copies of "Supernatural" you've got."

Later when we're back in the motel, I'm sprawlled out on Sam's bed, a good 10 copies of 'Supernatural' sitting around me.

"This is freakin' insane. How's this guy know all this stuff?" Dean says, the book he was reading was titles Route 666. I was currently skim reading _Every Body Loves A Clown. _

"You got me" Sam stated

"Thisis just crazy" I say mostly to myself "I mean this one has The Roadhouse, Jo and Ellen, everything"

"Everything is in here. I mean everything. From the racist truck to – to me having sex. I'm full-frontal in here, dude" Dean says, getting up to look at Sam's laptop. I sigh, slamming shut Everybody Loves A Clown and pickinh up one called Heaven and Hell. I quickly shut it again when it mentions how I feel about Cas. I cross the room to my brothers.

"How come we haven't heard of them before?" I ask

"They're pretty obscure. I mean, almost zero circulation. Uh, started in '05. The publisher put out a couple dozen before going bankrupt. And, uh, the last one – "No Rest For The Wicked" –" he says, pushing the laptop to face us "Ends with you going to hell"

"I reiterate. Freaking insane" Dean says, shaking his head "Check it out. There's actually fans. There's not many of them, but still. Did you read this?"

"Yeah" Sam says uncomfortabley

"Although for fans, they sure do complain a lot. Listen to this – Simpatico says "the demon story line is trite, clichéd, and overall craptastic." Yeah, well, screw you, Simpatico. We lived it."

"Yeah. Well, keep on reading. It gets better."

"There are "Sam girls" and "Dean girls" and – what's a "slash fan"?" I read off the page

"As in... Sam-slash-Dean. Together." Sam says and I choke back a laugh

"Like, together together?" Dean asks, looking scandalized

"Yeah"

"They do know we're brothers, right?"

"Doesn't seem to matter" Sam says and I lose it, laughing so hard my sides actually hurt

"We got to find this Carver Edlund" Dean says, giving me a look

"Yeah, that might not be so easy." Sam says

"Why not?" I say

"No tax records, no known address. Looks like "Carver Edlund" is a pen name"

"Somebody's gotta know who he is"

It was the next day, we were meeting with the publisher of Supernatural, she was young and pretty, with half of her her dyed blonde, half brown. She looks eager but appears both a little nervous and somewhat skeptical of our intentions.

"So you published the "Supernatural" books?"

"Yep. Yeah. Gosh. These books... You know, they never really got the attention they deserved. All anybody wants to read anymore is that romance crap. You know – "Doctor Sexy, M.D."?" she scoffs "Please"

"Right. Well, we're hoping that our article can... shine a light on an underappreciated series." Sam says through gritted teeth

"Yeah, yeah, because, you know, if we got a little bit of good press then m-maybe we could start publishing again."

"No, no, no, no. God, no." Dean splutters, Sam and I give him a look "I mean, why – why would you want to do that? You know, it's, uh, such a complete series, what with Dean going to hell and all"

"Oh, my god! That was one of my favorite ones, because Dean was so... strong... and sad and brave. And Sam... I mean, the best parts are when they'd cry. You know, like in – In "Heart," when Sam had to kill Madison, the first woman since Jessica he really loved. And in "Home," when Dean had to call John and ask him for help. And when Jordan discovers that Ross is dead on the case she was working to protect him, gah" she says, getting really emotional "Gosh... if only real men were so open and in touch with their feelings."

"Real men?" Dean asks, raising his eye brows

"I mean, no offense. How often do you cry like that, hmm?"

"Well, right now, I'm crying on the inside."

"Is that supposed to be funny?"

"Lady, this whole thing is funny"

"How do I know you two are legit, hmm?" she leans back in her chair, giving us dirty looks

"Oh, trust me. We, uh... we're legit." Dean says sarcastically

"Well, I don't want any smart-ass article making fun of my boys." She says, folding her arms

"No! No, no, no. Never." Sam stammers "We – We are actually, um... big fans"

"Hmm. You've read the books?"

"Cover to cover" I smirk

"What's the year and model of the car?" she asks

"It's a 1967 Chevy Impala" Dean says, smirking at the question

"What's May 2nd?"

"That's my – Uh... that's Sam's birthday." Sam stutters

"January 24th is Dean's." Dean adds

"And Jordan's is December 11th" I chip in

"Sam's score on the LSAT?"

"One... seventy four?" Sam says, having to think about it

"Dean's favorite song?"

"It's a tie. Between Zep's "Ramble On" and "Traveling Riverside Blues.""

"Jordan's favourite place?"

"The river that runs about a half mile behind Bobby's house" I say "She goes there sometimes in summer to swim"

"Where is her scar?"

"right leg, got it carved up by a hell hound"

"Okay. Okay." the publisher smiles "What do you want to know?"

"What's Carver Edlund's real name?" Sam asks

"Oh, no. I – No. Sorry, I can't do that" she shakes her head "He's very private. It's like Salinger"

"Please. Like I said – we are, um... (he unbuttons his shirt, cringing a little, to reveal his demon-protection tattoo) ... big... big fans."

Sam gave Dean and I looks, cringing I pulled up the hem of my shirt slightly to reveal the tattoo on my hip.

"Awesome. You know what?" she smiled, she turns around and hikes up her skirt, showing us something not child freindly "I got one, too."

"Whoa. You are a fan" Dean says, looking away from her.

"Okay" she says, scribbling something on a pad of paper "His name's Chuck Shurley. And he's a genius, so don't piss him off."

I sat in the back seat of the Impala as Chuck's house came into view. I wasn't too sure I wanted to meet him. Besides he probably knew everything, had he been stalking us? Did he know about how I felt about Cas? I shuddered as we approached the fron door, my brothers traded souldful looks before Dean pressed the door bell with forceful.. determination. A few seconds later, a short, unshaven man in pajamas came to the door.

"You Chuck Shurley?" Dean asks

"The Chuck Shurley who wrote the "Supernatural" books?" Sam adds

"Maybe" he says, obviously uncomfortable "Why?"

"I'm Dean. This is Sam and Jordan. The Dean, Sam and Jordan you've been writing about." Dean says and gets a closed door in his face. I jam my thumb into the doorbell again and he opens the door back up.

"Look, uh... I appreciate your enthusiasm. Really, I do. It's, uh, it's always nice to hear from the fans. But, uh, for your own good, I strongly suggest you get a life." he says, trying to close the door, Dean slams his hand into it to stop it closing.

"See, here's the thing. We have a life. You've been using it to write your books." Dean says, shoving open the door and entering the house, Sam and I follow.

"Now, wait a minute. Now, this isn't funny." Chuck says, getting worried

"Damn straight it's not funny" I say, getting pissed off myself

"Look, we just want to know how you're doing it" Sam says more kindly

"I'm not doing anything!"

"Are you a hunter?" Dean asked

"What? No. I'm a writer." Chuck said, flustered.

"Then how do you know so much about demons?" Dean sais, advancing on him so he falls back on to his couch. "And Tulpas, and changelings?"

"Is this some kind of "Misery" thing? Ah, it is, isn't it? It's a "Misery" thing!" Chuck said

"No, it's not a "Misery" thing. Believe me, we are not fans!" Dean growls

"Well, then, what do you want?!"

"I'm Sam. And that's Dean and Jordan." Sam said, becoming short himself

"Sam, Jordan and Dean are fictional characters. I made them up! They're not real!"

"Fine!" I snap "If we're not real" I grab the front of his pajamas, pulling him form the couch with extreme force. He seems surprised at how strong I am, I drag him outside and to the Impala. Where I then proceed to open the trunk, revealing our guns, salt and all our hunter crap. I look over at his shocked expression.

"Are those real guns?" he said shifting uncomfortabley

"Yep. This is real rock salt and these are real fake ID's"

"Well you guys really are my number one fans" he said awkwardly "That's, that's awesome. So, I-I think I've got some posters in the house"

"Chuck stop." Dean said impaitently.

"How much do you know?" Sam said, rounding on a squirming Chuck

"Do you know about the angels? Or Lilith breaking the seals? I asked

"Wait a minute. How do you know about that?"

"the question is how do you?"

"Because I wrote it" I stammered

"You kept writing?"

"Yeah, even after the publisher went bankrupt, but those books never came out. Okay, wait a minute. This is some kind of joke, right? Did that – Did Phil put you up to this?" i rolled my eyes

"Well it's nice to meet you. I'm Jordan Winchester and these are my brothers Sam and Dean"

"The last names were never in the books. I never told anybody about that. I never even wrote that down." he said, eyes widening at us.

x

I'm sat on Chuck's kitchen counter, pouring him another whiskey as Sam and Dean try to convince him that he's not god. I roll my eyes as he downs another round. He's talking about how he wrote himself into his latest book, that he met his own characters in it and I had to take a shot of whiskey myself for it all to process. Chuck sighs, rubbing his forhead in the same way I do. I was completely exhausted, I hadn't slept in days and i really couldn't be bothered with this crap right now.

"Please don't yell at me" Chuck said, I look up at him

"Why do i get the feeling there's something you're not telling us?" Dean says skeptically

"What wouldn't I be telling you?" Chuck asked, confused.

"How you know what you know for starters" Dean said, getting angry

"I don't know!" Chuck defended "I just do!

"That's not good enough!" Dean throws Chuck into a wall "How the hell are you doing this?!"

A gust of wind brished my face and Castiel was standing there, appearing from no where as per usual.

"Dean let him go!" he said, Dean released Chuck and turns to face Cas "This man is to protected"

"Why?" I ask, his eyes flicker to mine

"He's a Prophet of the Lord"

"You...You're Castiel... aren't you?" Chuck stumbled

"It's an honor to meet you, Chuck. I... admire your work" he said, picking up a book and flicking though it

"Whoa, whoa, what? This guy, a prophet? Come on, he's – he's... he's practically a Penthouse Forum writer." Deand said

"Did you know about this?" I asked Chuck softly, he seemed taken a back by my sudden niceness but relaxed. he stumbled to an armchair, pouring more Whiskey as he did so.

"I, uh, I might have dreamt about it." Chcuk stumbled

"And you didn't tell us?!"

"It was too preposterous. Not to mention arrogant. I mean, writing yourself into the story is one thing, but as a prophet? That's like M. Night-level douchiness." Chuck said, gulping down the whiskey

"Does he decide our fate?" I asked Cas quietly, he shakes his head.

"He isn't deciding anything. He's a mouthpiece – a conduit for the inspired word."

"Like the new testament?" Dean asked, raising his eye brows

"One day, these books – they'll be known as the Winchester gospel."

"You have got to be kidding me" Chuck and Dean said in unison

"I am not... kidding you." Cas said, confues, I just smiled at him. he was cute when he was confuesed. _Shut up Jordan._

"If you'd excuse me" Chucks said, disappearing upstairs, still clutching the whiskey bottle.

"Him? Really?" I said, raising my eye brows at Cas

"You should've seen Luke." he replied and I snorted half heartedly

"Why'd he get tapped?" Dean asked

"I don't know how prophets are chosen. The order comes from high up on the celestial chain of command"

"Very" Cas replied

"That's very helpful" I mumble "Listen Dean" I said, he turned to me "This is a little out of my depth, I think I'm just going to go back to Bobby's"

"Alright" Dean sighed "You got the buses right?"

"I can take her" Cas said, I looked over at him.

"See you in a few days?" Dean said, looking at me starnly

"Yeah" I nod

"Okay, baby girl" he smirked as Cas put a hand on my shoulder. I blinked and Bobby's house was sitting in front of me. I smiled, it was like home.

"Thanks Cas" I breathe

"You're welcome, Jordan" he said, lips twitching into his half smile, I push up on to my toes, kiss his cheek. Smile at him and head for Bobby's front door.

**Alrighty-roo, since the last chapter was so short I decided to extend this one, you're welcome ;) the usual drill guys, review, favourite follow and hence forth :3 new chapters coming-almost daily now! -Char xo**


	8. The Fallen Angels

"Jordan!" Bobby yelled up the stairs "Grubs up"

"Coming" I smiled, slamming shut my old copy of _Much Ado About Nothing_. I slipped it back on to my bookshelf. I'd come here a lot when I was a kid, even when dad had let Sam start hunting. He'd never let me come. So he'd shipped me off to Bobby's, I never really minded. I'd eat PJ & Jelly for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Bobby would let me read all of his books and I could relax for a while.  
I walked down the stairs, bobby was sat in front of the TV, sandwiches on a plate in his hand.

"PB and J a la Bobby" I grinned

"Best damn sandwiches this side of the state" he agreed handing me a plate. I sat cross-legged on his couch, munching on the sandwich when the phone rang. Bobby reached to grab it.

"Hello?" he paused for a second before handing it to me "Dean"

"What's crack-a lack-en Dean?" I smiled, he laughed half heatedly

"It's Cas" he said, I dropped the sandwich in my hand. Cas had come to visit me numerous times during the last month I'd been at Bobby's. He'd just show up and we'd talk for hours, he'd read to me a couple times.

"He's in heaven, I don't know how to explain it"

"Well figure out how" I almost yelled at him

He sighed and started explaining-

Castiel appeared in a dream to Dean, and asked him to meet him in the real world because there is something he needed to tell him. When Dean and Sam arrived at the address provided by Cas, they find signs of a violent confrontation. They encounter Castiel's vessel, Jimmy Novak, and determined that Castiel has been taken back to Heaven by force.

Castiel's vessel Jimmy remembered little, but describes being possessed by Castiel as being "chained to a comet". Jimmy is anxious to return to his family. Sam and Dean try to prevent him from leaving, but Jimmy escaped. He returned home, but demons soon intruded, trying to capture the "empty vessel". Sam and Dean help the Novaks to escape, but the demons capture Jimmy's wife and his daughter, and offer to trade their lives for his.

Jimmy goes to meet the demons and is shot as a captive Sam and Dean watch. Suddenly Castiel returned, possessing Jimmy's daughter Claire. She, like Jimmy, is an angelic vessel, having inherited the something "is in his blood" that made Jimmy a vessel. After defeating the demons, Castiel agrees to Jimmy's dying plea that Castiel use him as a vessel instead of his daughter.

As Castiel left, Dean asked him what it was he wanted to tell them, but Castiel rebuffs him, saying that he learned his lesson in Heaven. He doesn't serve man...or Dean, only Heaven and that his feelings for Jordan impaired his vision during his task.

"That's not all" Dean said with a pained tone

"What else?" I sighed, rubbing my forehead

"Jordan it's Sammy" Dean said "He drank demon blood, like full on vampire style, it's how he gets his demon killing mojo"

"Are you kidding?"

"No"

"We have to stop him" I whisper

"I know, I-I have a plan"

x

"Well, thanks for shaking a tail" Bobby said as we reached the panic room

"Yeah, you got it" Sam shrugs, opening the door.

"Go on inside. I wanna show you something"

Sam walks into the panic room while I stand behind Bobby and Dean at the door

"All right. So, uh, what's the big demon problem?"

"You are" Bobby said "This is for your own good"

Dean and Bobby slam the door shut, I have to hold in the cry I wanted to let out.

"Guys? Hey, hey. What?" Sam said, watching us though the window which Bobby closes and latches.

"This isn't funny. Guys! Hey! Guys?" Sam yelled, I walked up the stairs with Bobby and Dean, when we reach the top I turn to Dean, who looks like he's about to break down. I grab him into a hug, resting my head on his chest and letting out a ragged breath.

I stood outside with Dean, hours later, his voice had gone hoarse from praying to Cas. I was personally getting a little ticked off with him and what he had said in Illinois. That his feelings for me_ impaired his vision_ or some bull. I knew they were cramming words down his throat. After almost giving up hope, he appeared.

"Well, it's about time. I've been screaming myself hoarse out here for about two and a half hours now" Dean said

"What do you want?" said Cas impatiently

"You can start with what the hell happened in Illinois" I said, jumping off the hood of the car I was sat on. He seemed surprised I knew what happened, as if my brothers weren't going to tell me.

"What do you mean?"

"Cut the crap" I said, with slightly more edge than I had intended, something flickered in his eyes that I couldn't place.

"You were gonna tell me something" Dean said,

"Well, nothing of import"

"You got ass-reamed in heaven but it was not of import?" I scowled

"Jordan, I can't. I'm sorry" he practically whispered. I sighed, looking away and biting my lip to stop myself from crying. I didn't need more fucking tears, people will think I've gone soft because of a damn angel. When I didn't reply Cas continued, speaking to Dean now "Get to the reason you really called me. It's about Sam, right?"

"Can he do it? Kill Lilith, stop the apocalypse?" Dean said

"Possibly, yes. But as you know, he'd have to take certain steps"

"Crank up the hell-blood regimen"

"Consuming the amount of blood it would take to kill Lilith would change your brother forever. Most likely, he would become the next creature that you would feel compelled to kill. There's no reason this would have to come to pass, Dean. We believe it's you, Dean, not your brother. The only question for us is whether you're willing to accept it. Stand up and accept your role. You are the one who will stop it."

"If I do this, Sammy doesn't have to?" Dean said, I looked back at Cas for his answer

"If it gives you comfort to see it that way"

"God, you're a dick these days" I said, laughing coldly at all the times he'd read to me while I was at Bobby's. The amount of personal shit I'd told him, it just made me want to scream.

"Fine, I'm in" Dean sighed

"Dean" said softly, but both Cas and him ignore me.

"You give yourself over wholly to the service of God and his angels?"

"Yeah, exactly"

"Dean" I said more forcefully, ignored, again.

"Say it"

"I give myself over wholly to serve God and you guys" he said and I rolled my eyes at him. the idiot.

"You swear to follow his will and his word as swiftly and obediently as you did your own father's?"

"Yes, I swear. Now what?"

"Now you wait, and we call on you when it's time"

x

Dean and Bobby were currently arguing about his willingly now being the angel's little bitch, I only half listened as he compared the angels to Spock. As stupid as he was for doing it, I would have done the same. It was the angels or the demons and given the choice, I think he made a pretty good decision. I sighed, listening to Sam's screams, then something clicked in my head. He wasn't screaming anymore.

"Guys" I hissed, shushing them "You hear that?"

"Yeah that's a little too much nothing" Bobby said urgently, standing up. We rush down to the panic room and open the latched door. Sam was on the floor, looking to be having some sort of a seizure.

"What if he's faking?" Dean said

"You really think he would?" I said, eyes widening at Dean saying that.

"I think he'd do anything" Dean said, suddenly there's a slam and Sam is pinned to a wall by an invisible force

"That aint faking" Bobby said, throwing open the panic room door. Dean and Bobby run over and grab him, strapping him down in the cot.

x

"I need some air" I sigh, slamming shut another book about demons, tired of Bobby and Dean's bickering over Sam. When neither of them take a breath from arguing, I roll my eyes, grabbing my shotgun on the way out, force of habit. I walk through Bobby's junk yard slowly, sucking down as much cold air as I can. When I see Sam, working on stealing a car. I point the gun at him, cocking it. He turns.

"Uh-uh Sam" I said, shaking "The only place you're going is back inside with me"

"No" Sam said simply

"Damn it Sammy" I said, wanting to cry

"You won't shoot me Jordan" he said, I knew he was right but I wanted to be brave.

"Don't test me"

"You won't do it. You can't do it"

"We're trying to help you Sammy" I said, biting my lip, he grabs the end of the gun, holding it point blank against his chest.

"Then shoot" he said, I pause, not knowing what to do in this situation. He then pulls the gun from my hand, hitting me in the side of the head with it, hearing a crunch before everything going black.

x

I groan heavily, Dean holding an ice-pack to my head as I sit on the bed in the panic room. Bobby had found me out cold about 15 minutes ago when I hadn't come back for an hour, I had a lump on my forehead the size of an egg. Bobby and Dean were thinking of ways he could of got out, best guess right now was he had help from Ruby.

Dean was going to find Sam, I was staying with Bobby because I was showing signs of head trauma. That's what you get when your brother smashes you round the head with a gun. Though I was helping by telling Bobby which options Sam would take, I knew that kid and he would be deliberately picking options that weren't like him to try to shake us off, but we had him pin pointed.

Dean had called later, and although he had said he wan't I knew he was crying. I'd spent a while calming him down. Sam had chosen some demon bitch over Dean and wasn't coming back.

When he came back he had numerous arguments with Bobby again about calling Sam, the one right now I was just sitting with my head in Dean's lap. Wanting to cry for hours but holding myself together, only just, for Dean's benefit. I squeeze my eyes shut and when I open them I'm not in the same place, I look up to see a just as confused Dean. The room is large, lavishly appointed. The walls are painted white with gold trim and accents, and a marble table stands in the center, Cas is standing there.

"Hello, Dean, Jordan. It's almost time.

Dean is poking around the room, I'm sat at the marble table. I can tell I wasn't supposed to be here but I am anyway. Dean picks up a beer bottle from the table and looks at it.

"Hello Dean" a voice said, both of us look up to see Zachariah "You're looking fit"

_What am I, a spec of dust? _I thought at the lack of realization that I was actually there. Dean puts the beer bottle down again.

"Well, how 'bout this? ""The suite life of Zach and Cas" he said and I snort, Zachariah and Cas give him blank looks "It's a... never mind. So, what is this? Where the hell are we?"

"Call it a Green room. We're closing in on the grand finale, here. We want to keep you safe before showtime."

"I want to know what the game plan is" Dean said, sitting down next to me

"Let us worry about that. We want you... focused, relaxed"

"Well. We're about to be pissed and leaving, so start talking, Chuckles" Dean said

Zachariah sighs "All the seals have fallen. Except one."

"That's an impressive score" I said sarcastically "That's... that's right up there with the Washington Generals"

"You think sarcasm's appropriate, do you? Considering... you started all this? But the final seal... it'll be different"

"Why?"

"Lilith has to break it. She's the only one who can. Tomorrow night - midnight"

"Where?"

"We're working on it."

"Well work harder" Dean said

"we'll do our job. You just make sure you do yours."

"Yeah, and what is that, exactly?" I spat

"If I'm supposed to be the one that stops her, how? With the knife?" Dean adds

"All in good time"

"Isn't now a good time?"

"Have faith"

"What, in you? Give me one good reason why I should." Dean stood up, making himself look taller, Zach got in his face

"Because you swore your obedience. So obey." I look over at Cas, who's looking down guiltily, I sigh. Where the hell did _my _angel go?  
We're sat in the green room for hours, Dean is pacing and poking at figurines on the mantle piece. He's obviously frustrated, Cas appeared in the room with the oh-so familiar flutter of wings.

"You asked to see me?" Cas said

"I need you to take us to see Sam" Dean said

"Why?"

"There's something I need to talk to him about"

"What's that?"

I rolled my eyes, standing up to look Cas in the eyes "The B.M. I took this morning. What's it to you? Just make it snappy"

"I don't think that's wise"

"Didn't ask for your opinion" I said

"Have you forgotten what happened last time you met?" he said to Dean

"No. That's the whole point. Listen, I'm gonna do whatever you mooks want, okay? I just need to tie up this one thing. Five minutes - that's all we need."

"No" Cas said before swiftly disappearing again

"Dammit" Dean said, then suddenly the room swirls before me and my knees buckle.

"Dean?" I manage, reaching out for him but I hit the ground before going under.

When I wake up in in my bed a Bobby's house, I sit up suddenly, gasping for air. I feel like I've had my head pushed under water and been pulled back out just before my lungs would give out. I see Cas standing in the corner of my room.

"Where the hell am I?" I asked, standing up quickly, only to have my knees go again, Cas steps forward, catching me before I hit the ground.

"Bobby Singer's" he said slowly

"Why the hell am I here?" I said angrily, pushing him off me "take me back to my brother!"

"I can't do that Jordan" I spin round and hit him, hard, across the face. He barely even flinches and I hit him again in the chest.

"Take me back!" I sob, dropping to my knees

"I'm sorry Jordan" he said, he dropped to his knees next to me, pushing two fingers to my forehead. Suddenly the angels plan flashes before my eyes and I gasp.

"You guys are starting judgement day?!" I said, scrambling away from him across the floor

"It has to be this way"

"And you expect me to sit on the sidelines while you winged bitches use my brothers as bait?!"

"It's their-

"if you say destiny I swear I'm going to hit you again" I growl "Don't give me that crap, there are billions of innocent people and you're going to watch them burn"

"What is so worth saving? I see nothing but pain here. I see inside you. I see your guilt, your anger, confusion. In paradise, all is forgiven. You'll be at peace."

"You really know how to make a girl smile" I spit "You can take your peace... and shove it up your lily-white ass. 'Cause I'll take the pain and the guilt. I'll even take my brothers as god damn broken as they are. It's a lot better than being some Stepford bitch in paradise. This is simple, Cas! No more crap about being a good soldier. There is a right and there is a wrong here, and you know it."

Cas stands up and turns away from me, I do the same, grabbing his shoulder and making him look me in the eyes "You know it! You were gonna help us once, weren't you? You were gonna warn us about all this, before they dragged you back to Bible camp. Help me - now. Please."

"What would you have me do?"

"Take me to Sam and Dean. We can stop this, before it's too late"

"I do that, we will all be hunted. We'll all be killed."

"If there's anything worth dying for...this is it" I said, Cas shook his head and looked down "You spineless (I turn away from him) soulless son of a bitch. I fell for you, you made me love you, and what do you care about dying? You're already dead. We're done"

"Jordan-" he said softly

"We're done" I yell at him, tears falling freely down my cheeks. I turn back to him slowly but he's gone and that's when I break down.

**Ohohoho DRAMMMAAA, New chapter comin at you soon ;) might even put it up today, if you're nice -Char ox**


	9. Scream And Shout

I'm pacing back and forth through the green room, pausing every now and then to consider eating something suddenly Cas appears, grabbing me by the shoulder, and shoving me against the wall, pressing a hand over my mouth and drawing a knife. A moment passes while they stare at each other, then it dawns on me what he's doing and I nod slightly. Cas lets me go. He draws the knife across my forearm and takes the blood with his other hand, smearing it on the wall to form the angel banishing sigil.

"Castiel! Would you mind explaining just what the hell you're doing?" said a voice, I turn to see Zach, Cas slams his hand into the centre of the sigil, sending a violent flash of light into the room as Zachariah disappears.

"He won't be long, we have to get Jordan and find Sam"

"Where is Sam?"

"I don't know. But I know who does. We have to stop him, Dean, from killing Lilith."

"But Lilith's gonna break the final seal"

"Lilith is the final seal. She dies, the end begins" he said, pressing a finger to my forehead. The room spins and suddenly we're in Jordan's room in Bobby's house.

JORDAN

I'm sat staring into space, trying to figure out how to get back to Dean when him and Cas suddenly appear. I look between him and Cas for a second before standing up slowly, walking over to Cas. I looked in his eyes for a split second before grabbing him by the front of his tranch coat and pulling his lips down to mine. I can see Dean shift awkwardly in the corner of my eye. Cas seems awkward at first but then kisses back, I pull away.

"Thank you" I whisper, he cracks the first full smile I've ever seen him do. He takes my hand and the room spins. Chuck's kitcken is suddenly before my eyes, I see him sitting on the phone and he looks up in shock.

"Wait" he said slowlt "T-this isn't supposed to happen"

I'm sat on Chuck's couch later, drinking from a rather large glass of whiskey, my head spinningc "St. Mary's? What is that, a convent?" Dean asked Chuck

"Yeah, but you guys aren't supposed to be there. You're not in this story." he repiled, looking stressed

"yeah well..." Cas said, looking up at me, I smile reassuringly "We're making it up as we go along"

Chuck's computer screen starts to flicker and the room shakes, a low rumbling begins accompaies by a blindingly white light.

"It's the archangels. I'll hold them off! I'll hold them all off. Just stop Sam" he said, touching Dean's forehead and he disappeared. He turns to me, I grab his wrist

"Don't you dare" I yell over the noise "I'm staying"

"Jordan, please" Cas said

"Shut up you son of a bitch" I smirk "I'm staying" I grabbed my knife from my leg, not that it would help much. "We're in this together"

woo so they're slightly cannon now I guess, more chapters coming soon" Love yah, turkeys! -Char ox

DEAN

Sam and I walk into Chuck's house, it's silent. Uncomfortabely silent. Chuck jumps out and hits Sam on the head with a toilet plunger. Sam stumbles back, hand on his head.

"Geeze! Ow!"

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Hey, Chuck" I add in

"So... you're okay?" Chuck said unsteadily

"Well, my head hurts?" Sam said, frowning

"No, I mean—I mean, my—My last vision" he said "You went, like, full-on Vader. Your body temperature was one-fifty. Your heart rate was two hundred. Your eyes were black"

"Your eyes went black?" I asked, Sam turned to me

"I didn't know"

"Where's Jordan? And Cas?" I asked, he shifted uncomfortabley.

"Jordan's over there" he said, nodding through to the living room. I saw Jordan curled up on the couch

"She hasn't moved or said anything since.. since uh-"

"Since what Chuck?" I said reluctantly

"Cas. He's dead. Or gone. The archangel smote the crap out of him. I'm sorry"

"You're sure? I mean, maybe he just vanished into the light or something.

"Oh, no. He, like, exploded." Chuck said "Like a water balloon of chunky soup"

Jordan let out a broken noise and I sighed.

"There's something in your hair?" Sam frowned, Chuck grabbed at his hair and pulled something out.

"Oh. Oh, god.." he said, looking at it "Is that a molar? It is. Do I have a molar in my hair? This has been a really stressful day"

"Cas, you stupid bastard" I said, walking through to Jordan. She was awake, her eyes red and puffy. She was staring into space. I put an arm around her and she rested her head on my chest.

"Stupid? He was trying to help us" Sam said

"Exactly" Jordan said, her voice cracking

JORDAN

I'm sat in a dingy motel, pushing round what's left of the soup Sam had made me. Cas had been gone for days now. I had to accept the fact he was gone, but somehow I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Dean was watching TV, making comments at the news every now and then. I wasn't particularly listening. There was a knock at the door and Sam got up to answer it. I can see the woman at the door, she seems to be having trouble breathing.

"You okay, lady?" Sam asked

"Sam...is it really you?" she almost squeals, Sam glances back at us. The woman steps closer and puts a hand on Sam's chest.

"And you're so firm"

"Uh, do I know you?" Sam asked

"No. But I know you. You're Sam Winchester. And you're-" She pushes past Sam and looks at Dean "-not what I pictured you. And you're Jordan" she squealed, I winced "I'm Becky"

"Mr Edlund told me where you were"

"Chuck?" Dean said, standing up

"He's got a message, but he's being watched. Angels. Nice change-up to the mythology, by the way. The demon stuff was getting kind of old."

"Right. So, um what's the message?"

Later we're sat trying to figure out what the hell Chuck meant by fourty two dogs and The Michael Sword. It literally made no sense. There was a knock on the door and I went to answer it.

"hey, Bobby" I grinned, he grabbed me into a hug, lifting my feet off the ground as I laughed. I opened the door to let him in.

"it's good to see you all in one piece" he smiled, I stiffened as images of Cas exploding filled my mind. I bit my lip, turning away from them so they didn't see me trying not to cry.  
Bobby spent hours with us, trying to make heads or tails of the whole situation. We evertually figured out half of it, the castle of fourty two dogs was dad's storage unit. Sam, Bobby and Dean were going up there right now, leaving me alone in the motel.  
I was woken up to the shrill noise of my cell in the silent room "hello?" I croaked into the phone.

"Jordan it's Sam, listen Bobby's been stabbed and is in the hospital right now" Sam's voice said in a rush "We couldn't stay, we had to get to the storage base, please go to him okay, we'll be back in a couple hours" by the time he had finished the sentence I was already up and pulling on my jacket

"Which hospital?"

"Saint Martains"

"Okay Sammy, I'm on my way"

x

I sat on the chair next to Bobby's bed, reading_ The Merchant Of Venice_. It was one of the books Cas had read to me only weeks before. I sighed, wanting to cry and mourn over him. But I kept a brave face for the sake of everyone around me. Bobby stirred and woke up next to me.

"Morning sleeping beauty" I smirked, he groaned.

"Where the hell am?" he said, sitting up slightly

"Church" I said sarcastically

"hah, hah, very funny" he said, rolling his eyes, I smiled.

"Where are Sam and Dean?"

"Dad's storage unit" I said, and as if on cue they walked through the door.

After a lot of explaining of what went down in the unit, which seemed to be mostly Zachariah screwing shit up the first thing I said was-

"So Cas, he-he's alive?" I said, Dean cracked a small smile at me and nodded. A huge grin split on to my face. That was when the doctor walked in and it went down hill from there.

I stood outside Bobby's room days later with my brothers, he was in a bathtobe but with his usual ball cap. He hadn't said a word in days.

"It's been like three days now?" Dean said "We got to cheer him up. Maybe I'll give him a backrub."

Sam and I gave him a look "Look...we might have to wrap our heads around the idea that Bobby might not just bounce back this time" Sam said

"What's in the envelope?" I asked, changing the subject

"I went to radiology" he said, opening it "Got some Glamour shots" he passes me the pictue, which is the x-rag of a ribcage, there was Enochian all over his ribs.

"Geeze" Sam said

"Yeah well, Cas carved you one too" Dean said, my phone started ringing, I handed the x-ray to Sam and answered.

"Hello?"

"Jordan?" a familiar gruff voice said

"Castiel?" I breathed

"Speak of the devil" Dean commented

"Where are you?" he asked

"Uh, St. Martin's Hospital. Why? What are you" the line went dead "—Cas?" I rolled my eyes and hung up. When I looked up I saw my trench coated angel walking towards us, walked over to him, grinning. When I reached him he put a hand on my chest, I felt pain for a second before he pulled his hand away.

"Geeze Cas" I said, stepping back "What the hell?!"

"I gave you the same protection as your brothers" he said "I want you safe" I smiled again then launched myself into him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, he seemed taken slightly aback but I felt his arms go round my waist, his face burrying in the crook of my neck.

"I'm so glad you're okay" I said, pulling away from him, grinning, his lips twitched into a smile. I leaned over to kiss him gingerly, he happily responded. I heard Dean cough obviously from behind me so I pulled away. Sighing and walking back over to them.

"Cell phone, Cas? Really? Since when do angels need to reach out and touch someone?" Dean said

"You're hidden from angels now—all angels. I won't be able to simply—"

"Enough foreplay" Bobby interupts, the four of us look over at him "Get over here and lay your damn hands on." None of us move and Bobby turns to look at us "Get healing. Now"

"I can't" Cas sighed reluctantly, Bobby turns his chair round to face us.

"Say again?" Bobby said, Cas walked over to them.

"I'm cut off from heaven and much of heaven's power. Certain things I can do. Certain things I can't"

"You're telling me you lost your mojo just in time to get me stuck in this trap the rest of my life?"

"I'm sorry"

"Shove it up your ass" Bobby said, turning back to the window.

"At least he's talking now" Dean whispered to us

"I heard that" Bobby said, Cas sighed and walked back over to us.

"I don't have much time. We need to talk." Cas said

"Okay?"

"Your plan to kill Lucifer"

"Yeah, you want to help?" Dean said

"No. It's foolish. It can't be done."

"Well thanks for the support"

"But I believe I have the solution. There is someone besides Michael strong enough to take on Lucifer. Strong enough to stop the apocalypse." Cas said, then continued at our confused expressions "The one who resurrected me and put you on that airplane. The one who began everything. God." my brothers exchanged skeptical looks "I'm gonna find god"

Dean reaches over and closes Bobby's hospital door "God?"

"Yes! He isn't in heaven. He has to be somewhere."

"Try New Mexico. I hear he's on a tortilla"

"No, he's not on any flatbread" Cas said, confused, I smiled at him.

"Sarcasm Cas" I said

"Oh"

"Listen, Chuckles, even if there is a God, he is either dead—and that's the generous theory—"

"He's out there, Dean" Cas said

"—or he's up and kicking and doesn't give a rat's ass about any of us."

"I mean, look around you, man. The world is in the toilet. We are literally at the end of days here, and he's off somewhere drinking booze out of a coconut. All right?"

"Enough" Cas said, I could tell Dean was pissing him off "This is not a theological issue. It's strategic. With God's help, we can win."

"It's a pipe dream, Cas."

Cas snaps and grabs Dean by his jacket "I killed two angels this week. My brothers. I'm hunted. I rebelled. And I did it, all of it, for you, and you failed. You and your brother destroyed the world and I lost everything, for nothing. So keep your opinions to yourself" He threw Dean off him

"You didn't drop in just to tear us a new hole. What is it you want?" Bobby asked

"I did come for something. An amulet. Very rare. Very powerful. It burns hot in God's presence. It'll help me find him"

"Well, I don't know what you're talking about. I got nothing like that." Bobby shrugged

"I know, you don't" Cas said, his eyes dropping to Dean's necklace and back up "May I borrow it?"

"No" Dean said indifferently

"Dean" he said impaitently "Give it to me"

Dean was silent, realizing Cas was serious, he thinks for a moment before sighing and pulling it off.

"Don't lose it" he said, dropping it into Cas's hand. "Great now I feel naked"

"I'll be in touch" he said his eyes flickering to me. He turned and walked out the door, I followed quickly.

"Cas!" I said as he was half way down the corridor, he turned and smiled slightly.

"Now that you've uh- branded me, how can we find you?" I asked, he reached into his trench coat and pulled out a long chain. On the end of it was a small, blue, slightly glowing diamond.

"This necklace" he started "Has a small piece of my grace inside it, as long as you wear it I can find you" he moves closer to me, dropping the necklace around my neck. He smiled, brushing a hair from my face.

"It's good to see you again" I smiled "I thought- you know, it doesn't matter, you're alright now"

"I'll see you soon" he said, pressing his chapped lips to mine gently before disappearing.

I break down.


	10. Follow The Mourning Star

I woke up in my bed at Bobby's to voices from downstairs, I'd taken a break from hunting for a while. You know with the apocalypse being neigh and all I felt as if hunting wasn't the first thing to do on my list. Besides someone should look after Bobby. I yawned, getting out of my bed and wandering down stairs. I saw Dean at the door, talking to Bobby, he looked up and smiled at me.

"Hey, baby girl" he grinned, grabbing me into a hug

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I smiled

"Well, uh, Sam and I are taking separate vacations for a while" he said, I rolled my eyes, these two had more problems than a married couple. "Uh, I was just wondering, would you come hunting with me for a while?"

I just rolled my eyes "Yeah okay Dean, just let me pack"

After I jammed a bag full of my clothes and hunting stuff into a duffle bag. I go back downstairs, say my goodbyes to Bobby then follow Dean outside to the Impala, we drove all night, eventually picking a random hotel and getting a room.

"Might be nice to get my own bed for once" I yawn, Dean just chuckled wandering into the bathroom. I sat on the lumpy bed, pulling out a book from the top of the pile. I jumped when there was a thump from the bathroom.

"Hello Dean" I heard Cas's voice say.

"How'd you find us?" Dean asked, walking in from the bathroom with Cas "I thought we were flying under angel radar?" Cas's eyes flickered to me, the necklace he'd given me sitting around my neck, I hadn't taken it off. His lips twitched into a smile.

"Bobby told me where you were" he replied

"Right, so you find God yet? More importantly, can I have my damn necklace back, please?" Dean asked

"No, I haven't found him. That's why I'm here. I need your help."

"With what? God hunt? Not interested."

"It's not God. It's someone else. An Archangel. The one who killed me. His name is Raphael."

"You were wasted by a teenage mutant ninja angel?" Dean said and I snorted

"I've heard whispers that he's walking the earth. This is a rare opportunity"

"For what?" I asked "Revenge?"

"Information"

"So, what, you think you can find this dude and he's just gonna spill God's address?"

"Yes, because we are gonna trap him and interrogate him"

"You're serious about this?" Dean asked, Cas nodded once.

It took us a while to find a safe house but eventually we found one, we'd spent a while questioning a guy who seemed to be there when Raphael went into his vessel, then went to visit his, now empty, vessel. Who seemed to have gone round the bend. Right now Dean and I were alone in the safe house, Dean flipping though dad's journal, me reading through one of Bobby's books on angels. Cas then appears with a gust of wind.

"Where have you been?" Dean asked, closing dad's journal.

"Jerusalem" Cas said casually

"Oh, how was it?" Dean said sarcastically

"Arid" Cas replied, not realizing his sarcasm, he placed an old jar on the table.

"What's that?" I asked

"It's oil. It's very special. Very rare." he replied, I nodded, a little confused. Cas sits down opposite me.

"Okay, so we trap Raphael with a nice vinaigrette?" Dean said, I rolled my eyes at him.

"No" Cas said

"So this ritual of yours, when does it got to go down?"

"Sunrise"

"Tell me something. You keep saying we're gonna trap this guy. Isn't that kinda like trapping a hurricane with a butterfly net?"

"No, it's harder"

"do we have any chance of surviving this?

"_You_ do"

"So the odds are you're a dead man tomorrow?" I asked my voice cracking

"Yes"

"Well. Last night on earth. What are your plans?" Dean said

"I just thought I'd sit here quietly" Cas said and I snorted

"Come on, anything? Booze, women?" Dean said and Cas looks as him, visibly uncomfortable.

"You have been with women before. Right? Or an angel, at least?" Dean asked, raising his eye brows. Cas rubs the back of his neck awkwardly "You mean to tell me you've never been up there doing a little cloud-seeding?"

"I've never had occasion, okay?" Cas said sharply, I shift uncomfortably in my chair

"All right" Dean said grabbing his jacket

"Let me tell you something. There are two things I know for certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay. Two, you are not gonna die a virgin. Not on my watch. Let's go." he leaves, Cas and I exchange looks before following him.

We pull up to a stripper bar, I sigh. "You guys go in, there' no way in hell I'm going in there" I said, getting out anyway and sitting on the hood of the Impala. Dean dragged Cas towards the building.

"have fun" I called as they went into the building, Cas turned and gave me a look that just said _save me_.  
They couldn't have been gone more that 15 minutes when they came back out, I looked up from my book. Dean was in stiches, Cas looked confused, his tie even more squint than usual.

"What happened?" I laughed

"He pissed off the stripper" Dean chuckled "told her her daddy issues weren't her fault"

"Oooh, not a good idea Cas" I smirked, slipping off the hood.

"Also mentioned you promised him something? and he wanted to do that first?" Dean said raising an eye brow at me, I frowned, confused. I looked at Cas, who coughed uncomfortabley.

"Nothing" he said, going into the car. I shrugged, slipping into the front seat.

"Dean, can we get a motel tonight, I'm exhausted" I yawned, Dean nodded

"Sure baby girl"

~~~~WARNING THIS CHAPTER IS FILLED WITH SMUTTY GOODNESS, IF YOU DON'T REALLY SWING THE SMUT WAY JUST SKIP PAST IT, OKAY? ;) HAVE FUN ~~~~

I sighed, looking through a curtain of blonde hair at Cas. He was sitting at the table across the room from me. Dean was in the next room, I'd told him I'd wanted my own room for once, Cas had showed up not long after. It was bugging me what Dean had said, that Cas had said he wanted to do something I had once promised him.  
It suddenly hit me. _"I might have to change that sometime" I say sofly, his eyes widen "Not tonight though big boy" I laugh, curling under the covers again "Besides, you'd have to buy me a drink first, goodnight Cas"_ I smiled then, looking over at Cas again, he was looking out the window. I reached for what was left of the pie Dean had eaten earlier and walked over to Cas. I sat on the other side of the table from him and put the pie down, he looked mildly confused.

"I'm not going to let you die without trying pie" I smiled, pushing some on to the fork and holding it out to him. He leaned forward, biting the piece of pie of the fork. He smiled.

"I like it" he said through a mouthful of pie, I made me laugh at how cute it was. He stood up, I reached out and grabbed his elbow, he looked at me, a little confused

"Castiel" I smirked, standing up "You know what you said to Dean?" I whispered, leaning closer to him "I know what that promise was" He visabley swallowed, I smiled, leaning up and pressing my lips to his. It started slowly, our lips moving lightly together, barely even grazing. I could tell he was hesitant, following my lead and not really knowing what to do. I pulled away, slighly breathless and looked him in the eyes.

"Relax" I whispered, leaning in again "Just let yourself go"

He smiled crashing his lips to mine. I groaned, my hands going into his hair as he pushed me against the table. I pushed my hips into his, a broken moan escaping from his mouth that made me smirk. Cas's hands were at my hips, pulling me as physically close as possible. His hands ran under my thighs and he pulled me on to the table. I grabbed onto his belt buckle and soon enough his pants were at his ankles as he tried to kick his shoes off with them. I pulled of his tie, fumbling slightly before pulling it completely off. We broke apart, our breath coming out ragged as I started on his shirt buttons, getting impaitent and ripping it off, which seemed to turn him on more. I ran my hand up his bare chest, making his shiver, he was lean but not overly muscular. He pulled my lips to his again, pushing my further back on the table.

As my boots and t-shirt joined his pile of discarded clothes, he puled me sharply into his chest, causing me to gasp as he lifted me from the table and dropped me on to the bed. He kneeled over me, dropping feathery kissed up my stomach and chest, along my jaw line before meeting my lips again.

"You sure you've never done this before?" I gasp into his mouth, he chuckled, his chest vibrating.

"Yes, I'm sure" he said before letting out a strangled moan as I bit down on his bottom lip. His tounge was in my mouth at that moment and I let out a growl from the back of my throat, turning him on more. I couldn't handle the heat anymore and I pushed his underwear down over his hips and onto the floor. His hands going to the button of my jeans, pulling them down and throwing them over to the other side of the room. His hands then slid down my waist, making me shiver as he pulled my underwear off too before his arms hooked round me going for my bra strap. I kissed up his neck as he did so, causing him to groan loudly, his hips rutting into mine as I bit down hard, determined to leave a mark. Cas looked down at me, smiling.

"You sure you want to do this?" I whispered, running a hand through my angel's hair, he nodded, pressing his lips on mine again. "Do we have to yanno, take procautions or?" Cas shook his head.

"I can't get you pregnant" he said with an emotion in his voice I couldn't place. I slammed my lips to his again. Then, a cool, and yet hot pressure was slowly forcing it's way into me. I took in a sharp breath, eyes shooting open as I looked up at Cas's satisfied expression, a strange sense of pride welling up within him. The feeling was pure pleasure that dulled the pain.

"Cas" I gasped out at the first movement, both of us were lost at this point. Running my nails over his back at every thrust. The noise of the bed post hitting the wall did nothing but turn us on ever more. I leaned up to wrap my arm around his neck, pulling his lips to mine once more. Letting out a gutteral moan Cas increased his pace, both of us dripping with sweat. It wasn't more than another few minutes when Castiel finally came.

"Cas, Oh god" I groaned, his hips hitting into mine. He pulled out and rolled over next to me, pulling me into his sweaty chest, I smiled, my head rising and falling with every breath he took. He kissed my forehead, and I curled into his side.

"Jordan?"

"Mhm?"

"I think I love you" he said quietly, I yawned

"That's good" I whispered "Cause I love you too, and if you don't live though tomorrow, I'm going to kill you"

I woke up the next morning and reached over to Cas, my hand grazed the empty bed sheets next to me.

"Cas?" I said, sitting up. Gathering the bed sheets around me. When he didn't reply, I got worried. "Cas?!" I stood up and looked round, a gust of wind brushed the back of my head.

"Jordan" he said breathlessly. I turned around and smiled at him "we got what we needed for Raphael"

"Why didn't you wake me?" I frowned

"Dean's idea" he shrugged "I just didn't argue cause I didn't want you to get hurt"

"Hmm" I said, taking a couple of steps towards him, holding the sheets round me with one hand. He smiled down at me, arm going around my waist, I rested my non blanket one on his chest.

"I had fun last night, stud" I winked, he chuckled.

"Me too" he said leaning in to kiss me. It was then Dean decided to waltz into my room.

"Wow" he said, we pulled apart "sorry for interrupting"

"Great timing Dean" I said, re-arranging my sheets and stepping away from Cas.

"Sooo..." he smirked "what did _you_ do last night"

"Pervert" I muttered, grabbing my clothes from the floor and walking into the bathroom.

x

"All I got is beans" Bobby said and I groan as I rake though Bobby's cupboards some more

"I want real food for once Bobby" I laugh, he joins

"Sorry kiddo" he scratches his hat

"hey hey!" I smile, finding a half full pack of pasta and a couple tomatoes "We're in business"

"What you standing around for then?" he smiled "Get cooking"

"Yes sir!" I chuckle as he wheels himself back into the living room. I watch him go and sigh, I've been spending a lot of time at Bobby's recently, now he was in the chair I worried about him a lot. He was more that a father to me than my dad ever was. I'd left Sam and Dean to go hunting for a while, they called occasionally when they needed help and Sammy would call every night to check up on me, but it had been days and I was getting worried. I made Bobby pasta in tomatoes and went up to my bedroom. I smiled as I entred, it had taken me a while but I'd covered one of my walls in pictures. From Sam winning a soccer trophy when he was 9, to Dean in the Impala a couple weeks ago. The newest one was one I'd taken of Cas a couple days ago. He'd shown up and I'd taken him down to the river and I'd taken a picture of him, the sun catching in his blue eyes, making it my favourite so far.

"I pray to thee Castiel" I started "That he get his fine piece of ass down here"

"You called?" Cas said, I turned around to see him smiling at me

"Hey" I grinned, then my smile fell.

"Jordan? What is it?"

"Sam and Dean" I sighed "I'm worried, it's just, I think they're missing. They haven't called in days and even if they were on a case Sam would call"

"I'll find them" he says, then there was a gust of wind on my face and he was gone. I roll my eyes and sit on my bed. Trying to stay calm but worrying for my brothers. I end up falling asleep anyway.  
I'm woken up by Cas shaking me awake "Jordan" he hisses, I sit up slowly, rubbing my eyes.

"Hmm, what?" I yawn

"I found your brothers, they're safe now"

"Where were they?"

He starts to explain that Sam and Dean thought they were chasing down a trickster, which just so happened to be an archangel, Gabriel to be exact, and got stuck in TV world.

"Well crap" I said, practically falling back asleep.

"Get some sleep Jordan" Cas said, kissing my forehead. I nod and curl back under the covers.

"Cas?" I said

"Yes?"

"Stay" I yawn "Please" I feel the bed move as Cas lies next to me, I curl over into his chest, his arm going around me.

When I open my eyes the next morning Cas is standing on the other side of the room, inspecting the pictures on my wall. I sit up and rub the sleep from my eyes.

"Morning" I say, yawning and standing up. I walk over to him, wrapping my arms around him from behind and resting my chin on his back.

"Where is this?" He asked, I let him go and looked at the picture he was pointing at. I smiled.

"Beach in California" I smile, looking at the picture of me and Sam "We were hunting in the area, took a day off"

x

Time went by and our motives changed, now we were hunting down a demon who went by Crowley. Becky had told us the Bella lied and had given the colt to him and not Lilith, we needed the colt to ice the devil. I was on the phone to Cas, who'd managed to track him down and was watching him right now

"The demon Crowley is making a deal; even as we speak, it's—going—down." Cas said awkwardly, I snorted.

"Going down?" I cocked an eye brow "Right. Okay, Huggy Bear, just don't lose him"

"I won't lose him" Cas said

"Alright, love you" I said, Sam and Dean made gagging noises and I gave them a look.

"I love you too, Jordan"

The line was silent for a moment, while Cas tailed him "I followed him. It's not far, but—it's layered in Enochian warding magic." he sighed "I can't get in"

"It's fine Cas" I smile "we can cover it from here"

**Hey guys! just a quick uperdaters, I've had an epiphany for a new Cas fiction! Which is sorta inspired by the book _The Time Travelers Wife_ and the Doctor Who episode _The Eleventh Hour, _It's kinda gonna be lke the whole "the girl who waited" thing. So yeah, it's a working title at the moment but this fic will maybe be updated every other week :) Thanks for the support and favourites and follows, you guys rock! Peace out suckas, -Char ox**


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